Early on, they were timing my contract with an egg timer.
More Quotes from Conan OBrien:
Apparently the new high-tech Star Wars toys will be in stores any day now. The toys can talk and are interactive, so they can be easily distinguished from Star Wars fans.Conan OBrien
Several hard-core Star Wars fans who had tickets for the first showing actually said that when the movie finally began, they started crying. Mainly because they realized that it's 22 years later, and they still haven't lost their virginity.
Conan OBrien
Tom Cruise's attorney said he is going to sue anyone who claims he is gay. In a related story, Ricky Martin's attorney has been hospitalized for exhaustion.
Conan OBrien
This Halloween, the most popular mask is the Arnold Schwarzenegger mask. And the best part? With a mouth full of candy you will sound just like him.
Conan OBrien
In West Virginia yesterday, a man was arrested for stealing several blow-up dolls. Reportedly, police didn't have any trouble catching the man because he was completely out of breath.
Conan OBrien
A study in the Washington Post says that women have better verbal skills than men. I just want to say to the authors of that study: 'Duh.'
Conan OBrien
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Stretching his hand up to reach the stars, too often man forgets the flowers at his feet.
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