Scientists now believe that the primary biological function of breasts is to make males stupid.
More Quotes from Dave Barry:
Like many members of the uncultured, Cheez-It consuming public, I am not good at grasping modern art.Dave Barry
drink beer. But that's kind of my goal pretty much wherever I go.
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Dogs need to sniff the ground it's how they keep abreast of current events. The ground is a giant dog newspaper, containing all kinds of late-breaking news items, which, if they are especially urgent, are often continued in the next yard.
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And, of course, you have the commercials where savvy businesspeople Get Ahead by using their MacIntosh computers to create the ultimate American business product a really sharp-looking report.
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I believe many Harley guys spend more time revving their engines than actually driving anywhere I sometimes wonder why they bother to have wheels on their motorcycles.
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The primary function of the government is - and here I am quoting directly from the U.S. Constitution - to spew out paper.
Dave Barry
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Based on Topics: Science Quotes, Stupidity QuotesBased on Keywords: males
A rooster crows only when it sees the light. Put him in the dark and he'll never crow. I have seen the light and I'm crowing.
Muhammad Ali
So people are ready. I feel hopeful in that sense.
Studs Terkel
But most distinctly, I remember always saying to myself that when I get big, I'm not going to go to bed hungry, I'm not going to wear hand-me-down clothes.
Buck Owens