BODY-SNATCHER, n. A robber of grave-worms. One who supplies the young physicians with that with which the old physicians have supplied the undertaker. The hyena. One night, a doctor said, last fall, I and my comrades, four in all, When visiting a graveyard stood Within the shadow of a wall. While waiting for the moon to sink We saw a wild hyena slink About a new-made grave, and then Begin to excavate its brink; Shocked by the horrid act, we made A sally from our ambuscade, And, falling on the unholy beast, Dispatched him with a pick and spade. --Bettel K. Jhones.
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BERENICE'S HAIR, n. A constellation (Coma Berenices) named in honor of one who sacrificed her hair to save her husband.Her locks an ancient lady gave Her loving husband's life to save And men --they honored so the dame -- Upon some stars bestowed her name.But to our modern married fair, Who'd give their lords to save their hair, No stellar recognition's given. There are not stars enough in heaven. --G.J.Ambrose Gwinett Bierce
SACRAMENT, n. A solemn religious ceremony to which several degrees of authority and significance are attached. Rome has seven sacraments, but the Protestant churches, being less prosperous, feel that they can afford only two, and these of inferior sanctity. Some of the smaller sects have no sacraments at all --for which mean economy they will indubitable be damned.
Ambrose Gwinett Bierce
A lowly virtue whereby mediocrity achieves a glorious success.
Ambrose Gwinett Bierce
EXCOMMUNICATION, n.This excommunication is a word In speech ecclesiastical oft heard, And means the damning, with bell, book and candle, Some sinner whose opinions are a scandal -- A rite permitting Satan to enslave him Forever, and forbidding Christ to save him. --Gat Huckle
Ambrose Gwinett Bierce
INDECISION, n. The chief element of success for whereas, saith Sir Thomas Brewbold, there is but one way to do nothing and divers way to do something, whereof, to a surety, only one is the right way, it followeth that he who from indecision standeth still hath not so many chances of going astray as he who pusheth forwards --a most clear and satisfactory exposition on the matter. Your prompt decision to attack, said Genera Grant on a certain occasion to General Gordon Granger, was admirable you had but five minutes to make up your mind in. Yes, sir, answered the victorious subordinate, it is a great thing to be know exactly what to do in an emergency. When in doubt whether to attack or retreat I never hesitate a moment --I toss us a copper. Do you mean to say that's what you did this time; Yes, General but for Heaven's sake don't reprimand me I disobeyed the coin.
Ambrose Gwinett Bierce
DISABUSE, v.t. The present your neighbor with another and better error than the one which he has deemed it advantageous to embrace.
Ambrose Gwinett Bierce
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Based on Topics: Night Quotes, Youth QuotesBased on Keywords: dispatched, excavate, graveyard, hyena, new-made, sally, slink, undertaker, unholy
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