BONDSMAN, n. A fool who, having property of his own, undertakes to become responsible for that entrusted to another to a third. Philippe of Orleans wishing to appoint one of his favorites, a dissolute nobleman, to a high office, asked him what security he would be able to give. I need no bondsmen, he replied, for I can give you my word of honor. And pray what may be the value of that inquired the amused Regent. Monsieur, it is worth its weight in gold.
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BENEDICTINES, n. An order of monks otherwise known as black friars.She thought it a crow, but it turn out to be A monk of St. Benedict croaking a text.Here's one of an order of cooks, said she --Black friars in this world, fried black in the next. --The Devil on Earth (London, 1712)Ambrose Gwinett Bierce
ABASEMENT, n. A decent and customary mental attitude in the presence of wealth of power. Peculiarly appropriate in an employee when addressing an employer.
Ambrose Gwinett Bierce
HELPMATE, n. A wife, or bitter half.Now, why is yer wife called a helpmate, Pat Says the priest. Since the time 'o yer wooin' She's niver sic assisted in what ye were at -- For it's naught ye are ever doin'.That's true of yer Riverence sic, Patrick replies, And no sign of contrition envicesBut, bedad, it's a fact which the word implies, For she helps to mate the expinses sic --Marley Wottel
Ambrose Gwinett Bierce
ETHNOLOGY, n. The science that treats of the various tribes of Man, as robbers, thieves, swindlers, dunces, lunatics, idiots and ethnologists.
Ambrose Gwinett Bierce
DAMN, v. A word formerly much used by the Paphlagonians, the meaning of which is lost. By the learned Dr. Dolabelly Gak it is believed to have been a term of satisfaction, implying the highest possible degree of mental tranquillity. Professor Groke, on the contrary, thinks it expressed an emotion of tumultuous delight, because it so frequently occurs in combination with the word jod or god, meaning joy. It would be with great diffidence that I should advance an opinion conflicting with that of either of these formidable authorities.
Ambrose Gwinett Bierce
ABRIDGE, v.t. To shorten.When in the course of human events it becomes necessary for people to abridge their king, a decent respect for the opinions of mankind requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the separation. --Oliver Cromwell
Ambrose Gwinett Bierce
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Based on Topics: Fool Quotes, Gold Quotes, Honor Quotes, Pleasure Quotes, Value QuotesBased on Keywords: bondsman, bondsmen, dissolute, inquired, monsieur, nobleman, philippe, regent
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