HELPMATE, n. A wife, or bitter half.Now, why is yer wife called a helpmate, Pat Says the priest. Since the time 'o yer wooin' She's niver sic assisted in what ye were at -- For it's naught ye are ever doin'.That's true of yer Riverence sic, Patrick replies, And no sign of contrition envicesBut, bedad, it's a fact which the word implies, For she helps to mate the expinses sic --Marley Wottel
More Quotes from Ambrose Gwinett Bierce:
In Italian, a belladonna is a beautiful lady in English, it's a deadly poison.Ambrose Gwinett Bierce
EPICURE, n. An opponent of Epicurus, an abstemious philosopher who, holding that pleasure should be the chief aim of man, wasted no time in gratification from the senses.
Ambrose Gwinett Bierce
SANDLOTTER, n. A vertebrate mammal holding the political views of Denis Kearney, a notorious demagogue of San Francisco, whose audiences gathered in the open spaces (sandlots) of the town. True to the traditions of his species, this leader of the proletariat was finally bought off by his law-and-order enemies, living prosperously silent and dying impenitently rich. But before his treason he imposed upon California a constitution that was a confection of sin in a diction of solecisms. The similarity between the words sandlotter and sansculotte is problematically significant, but indubitably suggestive.
Ambrose Gwinett Bierce
DISTRESS, n. A disease incurred by exposure to the prosperity of a friend.
Ambrose Gwinett Bierce
REDRESS, n. Reparation without satisfaction. Among the Anglo-Saxon a subject conceiving himself wronged by the king was permitted, on proving his injury, to beat a brazen image of the royal offender with a switch that was afterward applied to his own naked back. The latter rite was performed by the public hangman, and it assured moderation in the plaintiff's choice of a switch.
Ambrose Gwinett Bierce
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Based on Topics: Facts Quotes, Time QuotesBased on Keywords: contrition, niver, yer
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