Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one and let the other one off.
More Quotes from Tommy Cooper:
Well, my wife and I were married in a toilet - it was a marriage of convenience!Tommy Cooper
I had a dream last night, I was eating a ten pound marshmallow. I woke up this morning and the pillow was gone.
Tommy Cooper
It's strange, isn't it. You stand in the middle of a library and go aaaaagghhhh' and everyone just stares at you. But you do the same thing on an aeroplane, and everyone joins in.
Tommy Cooper
So I went to the Doctor's yesterday. He said, What appears to be the problem I said, I keep having this dream, night after night, beautiful girls rushing towards me and I keep pushing them away. He said, How can I help I said break my arms.
Tommy Cooper
A blind bloke walks into a shop with a guide dog. He picks the Dog up and starts swinging it around his head. Alarmed, a shop assistant calls out: 'Can I help, sir?' 'No thanks,' says the blind bloke. 'Just looking.'
Tommy Cooper
You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note on the windscreen, it said 'Parking Fine.'
Tommy Cooper
Readers Who Like This Quotation Also Like:
Based on Keywords: battery, fireworksSometimes we stare so long at a door that is closing that we see too late the one that is open.
Alexander Graham Bell
Chris Columbus was really interesting to watch how he works with children.
David R. Ellis
Innovations never happen as planned.
Gifford Pinchot