‘Tis a yarn I heard of a new-chum ‘trap’
On the edge of the Never-Never,
Where the dead men lie and the black men lie,
And the bushman lies for ever.
‘Twas the custom still with the local blacks
To cadge in the ‘altogether’-
They had less respect for our feelings then,
And more respect for the weather.
The trooper said to the sergeant’s wife:
‘Sure, I wouldn’t seem unpleasant;
‘But there’s women and childer about the place,
‘And-barrin’ a lady’s present-
‘There’s ould King Billy wid niver a stitch
‘For a month-may the drought cremate him!-
‘Bar the wan we put in his dirty head,
‘Where his old Queen Mary bate him.
‘God give her strength!-and a peaceful reign-
‘Though she flies in a bit av a passion
‘If ony wan hints that her shtoyle an’ luks
‘Are a trifle behind the fashion.
‘There’s two of the boys by the stable now-
‘Be the powers! I’ll teach the varmints
‘To come wid nought but a shirt apiece,
‘And wid dirt for their nayther garmints.
‘Howld on, ye blaggards! How dare ye dare
‘To come widin sight av the houses?-
‘I’ll give ye a warnin’ all for wance
‘An’ a couple of ould pair of trousers.’
They took the pants as a child a toy,
The constable’s words beguiling
A smile of something beside their joy;
And they took their departure smiling.
And that very day, when the sun was low,
Two blackfellows came to the station;
They were filled with the courage of Queensland rum
And bursting with indignation.
The constable noticed, with growing ire,
They’d apparently dressed in a hurry;
And their language that day, I am sorry to say,
Mostly consisted of ‘plurry.’
The constable heard, and he wished himself back
In the land of the bogs and the ditches-
‘You plurry big tight-britches p’liceman, what for
‘You gibbit our missuses britches?’
And this was a case, I am bound to confess,
Where civilisation went under;
Had one of the gins been less modest in dress
He’d never have made such a blunder.
And here let the moral be duly made known,
And hereafter signed and attested:
We should place more reliance on that which is shown
And less upon what is suggested.
(Henry Lawson)
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Based on Topics: Joy & Excitement Poems, Place Poems, Kings & Queens Poems, Smiling Poems, Courage Poems, Passion Poems, Weather Poems, Confession Poems, Fashion Poems, Morality Poems, Custom & Convention PoemsBased on Keywords: apiece, warnin, never-never, consisted, britches, luks, civilisation, new-chum, attested, cadge, widin