A woman tells her doctor, 'I've got a bad back.' The doctor says, 'It's old age.' The woman says, 'I want a second opinion.' The doctor says: 'Okay - you're ugly as well.'
More Quotes from Tommy Cooper:
So I went to the Doctor's yesterday. He said, What appears to be the problem I said, I keep having this dream, night after night, beautiful girls rushing towards me and I keep pushing them away. He said, How can I help I said break my arms.Tommy Cooper
It's strange, isn't it. You stand in the middle of a library and go aaaaagghhhh' and everyone just stares at you. But you do the same thing on an aeroplane, and everyone joins in.
Tommy Cooper
My wife had a go at me last night. She said, You'll drive me to my grave. I had the car out in thirty seconds.
Tommy Cooper
Well, my wife and I were married in a toilet - it was a marriage of convenience!
Tommy Cooper
A blind bloke walks into a shop with a guide dog. He picks the Dog up and starts swinging it around his head. Alarmed, a shop assistant calls out: 'Can I help, sir?' 'No thanks,' says the blind bloke. 'Just looking.'
Tommy Cooper
So I rang up a local building firm, I said 'I want a skip outside my house.' He said 'I'm not stopping you.'
Tommy Cooper
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Based on Topics: Age Quotes, Opinions Quotes, Woman QuotesBased on Keywords: its, ive
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