When I said that I wanted to put together a writing staff that would only be 80 percent Ivy League-educated Jews, they said it couldn't be done,
More Quotes from Jon Stewart:
Does anyone know...does the Christian persecution complex have an expiration date Because...uh...you've all been in charge pretty much since...uh...what was that guys name...Constantine. He converted in, what was it, 312 A.D. I'm just saying, enjoy your success.Jon Stewart
You just have to keep trying to do good work, and hope that it leads to more good work. I want to look back on my career and be proud of the work, and be proud that I tried everything. Yes, I want to look back and know that I was terrible at a variety of things.
Jon Stewart
Hamilton, of course, shot in a duel with Aaron Burr over issues of honor, integrity and political maneuvering. Whittington Mistaken for a bird.
Jon Stewart
The nation of Dubai banned the movie Charlie's Angles because it's offensive to the religion of Islam. Apparently, the religion of Islam is offended by anything without a plot.
Jon Stewart
I'm 38 and could very much bare my midriff, but it may make some people nauseous.
Jon Stewart
The night I turned twenty-two, I drank a shot for every year. I was so drunk, I'd just walk up to people in the bar and hit them in the balls. My friends drove me home and left me propped up on the couch holding a bucket. I woke up with vomit all over me. The bucket was clean as a whistle.
Jon Stewart
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I like the mentality of the Americans. It's like when you talk about money.
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