Don't tell your kids you had an easy birth or they won't respect you. For years I used to wake up my daughter and say, 'Melissa you ripped me to shreds. Now go back to sleep.'.
More Quotes from Joan Rivers:
Before we make love my husband takes a pain killer.Joan Rivers
I blame my mother for my poor sex life. All she told me was 'the man goes on top and the woman underneath.' For three years my husband and I slept in bunk beds.
Joan Rivers
Dont talk to me about Valentines Day. At my age an affair of the heart is a bypass
Joan Rivers
It's very important, and if it's the child, no matter how prepubescent or ugly it is, you always say, 'Don't you look great' You speak to the child even if the face is a pizza.
Joan Rivers
I thought she looked sensational. She was going with her own drummer. A lot of them look like cookie-cutters now and they're all the same look, the same dress. The ones that are so wonderful are the ones that absolutely wear things that nobody else can wear.
Joan Rivers
My best birth control now is just to leave the lights on.
Joan Rivers
Readers Who Like This Quotation Also Like:
Based on Topics: Sleep QuotesBased on Keywords: melissa, ripped, shreds
The only reason for being a professional writer is that you can't help it.
Leo Rosten
I got quite bored when I was hanging in the air. I want to do it without a parachute next.
Rhona Mitra
He read his mind. He's a strange sort of man, isn't he? It's not just the advice and the wisdom that he has.
Omar Sharif