I never know what to get my father for his birthday. I gave him a hundred dollars and said, 'Buy yourself something that will make your life easier.' So he went out and bought a present for my mother.
More Quotes from Rita Rudner:
We've begun to long for the pitter-patter of little feet - so we bought a dog. Well, it's cheaper, and you get more feet.Rita Rudner
I got kicked out of ballet class because I pulled a groin muscle. It wasn't mine.
Rita Rudner
In Hollywood a marriage is a success if it outlasts milk.
Rita Rudner
I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage. They've experienced pain and bought jewelry.
Rita Rudner
My husband gave me a necklace. It's fake. I requested fake. Maybe I'm paranoid, but in this day and age, I don't want something around my neck that's worth more than my head.
Rita Rudner
My mother is such a lousy cook that Thanksgiving at her house is a time of sorrow.
Rita Rudner
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Based on Topics: Birthdays Quotes, Mothers Quotes, Present QuotesLet sovereignty be granted us over a portion of the earth's surface large enough to satisfy our rightful requirements as a nation. The rest we shall manage for ourselves.
Theodor Herzl
Being a good teammate is when you try to sprint down a ball that everyone thinks is going out of bounds. But you go after it anyways and you get it.
Mia Hamm
The great men of power who seek to change the nations they belong to usually are pretty terrible people.
John Keegan