I think the biggest accomplishment anyone can achieve is to be the cause of something, rather than the effect. A cause makes something happen - ideally, a positive outcome, such as losing weight, finding someone amazing or getting a new job. It puts you in a position of control and confidence, rather than reaction and reluctance.
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Look for someone who has a complete life without you in it. If you have a person you don't need for anything, that's ideal. You're just together because you really want to be.
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Soldiers, when committed to a task, can't compromise. It's unrelenting devotion to the standards of duty and courage, absolute loyalty to others, not letting the task go until it's been done.
John Keegan