The big advantage of a book is it's very easy to rewind. Close it and you're right back at the beginning.
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A two-year-old is kind of like having a blender, but you don't have a top for it.Jerry Seinfeld
People who read the tabloids deserve to be lied to.
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The Swiss have an interesting army. Five hundred years without a war. Pretty impressive. Also pretty lucky for them. Ever see that little Swiss Army knife they have to fight with Not much of a weapon there. Corkscrews, Bottle openers. 'Come on, buddy, let's go. You get past me, the guy in back of me, he's got a spoon. Back off. I've got the toe clippers right here.
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But after they settle in you've still got to be funny, because for an hour just the fact they get to see you live in a theater is going to wear off if you're not doing well.
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There is no such thing as fun for the whole family.
Jerry Seinfeld
The whole object of comedy is to be yourself and the closer you get to that, the funnier you will be.
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Based on Topics: Books QuotesBased on Keywords: rewind
A slender acquaintance with the world must convince every man that actions, not words, are the true criterion of the attachment of friends.
George Washington
Parents have the ability to screen their children's Internet access at home.
Mike Fitzpatrick
It is generally admitted that the most beautiful qualities of a color are in its transparent state, applied over a white ground with the light shining through the color.
Maxfield Parrish