The age of your children is a key factor in how quickly you are served in a restaurant. We once had a waiter in Canada who said, Could I get you your check and we answered, How about the menu first
More Quotes from Erma Bombeck:
It takes a lot of courage to show your dreams to someone else.Erma Bombeck
Anybody who watches three games of football in a row should be declared brain dead.
Erma Bombeck
Car designers are just going to have to come up with an automobile that outlasts the payments.
Erma Bombeck
Thanksgiving dinners take eighteen hours to prepare. They are consumed in twelve minutes. Half-times take twelve minutes. This is not coincidence.
Erma Bombeck
Do you know what you call those who use towels and never wash them, eat meals and never do the dishes, sit in rooms they never clean, and are entertained till they drop? If you have just answered, "A house guest," you're wrong because I have just described my kids.
Erma Bombeck
Onion rings in the car cushions do not improve with time.
Erma Bombeck
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After so many changes, I realized I'd better cling to my own family and to what I've got right here.
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I've always been a fella who put most of my eggs in one basket and then take a dump in the basket but I really don't know.
Robert Downey, Jr.