They have demonstrated superb taste by giving me my own show and it's humbling that they recognize my unequaled genius.
More Quotes from David Letterman:
Iraq's elite Republican Guard is doing so badly they're changing their name to the Democratic Guard.David Letterman
In the debate Bush appeared confident, he appeared relaxed, he appeared calm. That's right, he's drinking again.
David Letterman
possibly the most shameful situation that I've ever gotten myself in in my life, and I've done some pretty dumb things in my life.
David Letterman
The Security and Exchanges Commission is going to be investigating Vice President Dick Cheney. They'll begin that investigation as soon as Congress finishes investigating the Security and Exchanges Commission.
David Letterman
The big debate right now is if Saddam is alive or dead. He's dead, then he's alive, then dead, then alive. It's just confusing. Today they showed videotape, and Saddam was speaking at his own funeral.
David Letterman
President Bush has said that he does not need approval from the UN to wage war, and I'm thinking, well, hell, he didn't need the approval of the American voters to become president, either.
David Letterman
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