We would love to be able to help the high-school kids out and make a nice donation for down there,
More Quotes from Dave Berry:
No other plant built three different cars at the same time.Dave Berry
Fads end eventually and value suddenly mattered again. The bank group outperformed the broad market in third, fourth and first quarter of this year.
Dave Berry
What happens if a big asteroid hits Earth Judging from realistic simulations involving a sledge hammer and a common laboratory frog, we can assume it will be pretty bad.
Dave Berry
And as Americans, we must ask ourselves Are we really so different Must we stereotype those who disagree with us Do we truly believe that ALL red-state residents are ignorant racist fascist knuckle-dragging NASCAR-obsessed cousin-marrying road-kill-eating tobacco-juice-dribbling gun-fondling religious fanatic rednecks or that ALL blue-state residents are godless unpatriotic pierced-nose Volvo-driving France-loving left-wing Communist latte-sucking tofu-chomping holistic-wacko neurotic vegan weenie perverts Yes. This is called diversity, and it is why we are such a great nation - a nation that has given the world both nuclear weapons AND SpongeBob SquarePants.And so today I am calling upon both sides in the red-blue rift to reach out. Maybe we could have a cultural-exchange program between red and blue states. For example, a delegation from Texas could go to California and show the Californians how to do some traditional Texas thing such as castrate a bull using only your teeth, and then the Californians could show the Texans how to rearrange their football stadiums in accordance with the principles of feng shui (for openers, both goalposts should be at the west end of the field). Or maybe New York and Kentucky could have a college-style mixer, featuring special crossover hors d'oeuvres, such as bagels topped with squirrel parts.
Dave Berry
Swift is hiring, and if there are qualified drivers, we will get them employed right away. They may want to get home and see if they can drive for the company they worked for before. . . . If they meet our qualifications, we will hire them.
Dave Berry
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By the time I reached high school my father's grocery store had made our life adequately comfortable and I was able to choose, without any practical encumbrances, the subjects that I wanted to pursue in college.Sidney Altman
I feel I learned as much from fellow students as from the professors.
Jack Steinberger
Value is what you get.
Warren Buffett