What's the two things they tell you are healthiest to eat? Chicken and fish. You know what you should do? Combine them, eat a penguin.
More Quotes from Dave Attell:
Yeah, I know, some people are against drunk driving, and I call those people "the cops." But you know, sometimes, you've just got no choice; those kids gotta get to school!Dave Attell
Every eight minutes, someone has sex with an animal... and you wonder why the attack you. Because of that man, and its up to me and a half mexican to stop him.
Dave Attell
There's a late-night scene in every town, and everyone has something going on, ... I've heard good stories about (Syracuse) this is a very good party town, a good drinking place. I definitely would like to come back and check it out further. Do some more research, as I call it.
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Doesn't matter what you say or do; people can always find a way to call you a dick.
Dave Attell
You know, men and women are a lot alike in certain situations. Like when they're both on fire - they're exactly alike.
Dave Attell
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