REASON, v.i. To weight probabilities in the scales of desire.
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CIRCUS, n. A place where horses, ponies and elephants are permitted to see men, women and children acting the fool.Ambrose Bierce
Academy A modern school where football is taught.
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SYCOPHANT, n. One who approaches Greatness on his belly so that he may not be commanded to turn and be kicked. He is sometimes an editor.
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EPITAPH, n. An inscription on a tomb, showing that virtues acquired by death have a retroactive effect.
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A total abstainer is one who abstains from everything but abstention, and especially from inactivity in the affairs of others.
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Violin, n. An instrument to tickle human ears by friction of a horse's tail on the entrails of a cat.
Ambrose Bierce
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