England and America (James Kenneth Stephen Poems)
. ON A RHINE STEAMER. Republic of the West, Enlightened, free, sublime, Unquestionably best Production of our time. The telephone is thine, And thine the Pullman Car, The caucus, the divine Intense electric star. To thee we likewise owe The venerable names Of Edgar Allan Poe, And Mr. Henry James. In short it's due to thee, Thou kind of Western star, That we have come to be Precisely what we are. But every now and then, It cannot be denied, You breed a kind of men Who are not dignified, Or courteous or refined, Benevolent or wise, Or gifted with a mind Beyond the common size, Or notable for tact, Agreeable to me, Or anything, in fact, That people ought to be. 2. ON A PARISIAN BOULEVARD. Britannia rules the waves, As I have heard her say; She frees whatever slaves She meets upon her way. A teeming mother she Of Parliaments and Laws; Majestic, mighty, free: Devoid of common flaws. For here did Shakspere write His admirable plays: For her did Nelson fight And Wolseley win his bays. Her sturdy common sense Is based on solid grounds: By saving numerous pence She spends effective pounds. The Saxon and the Celt She equitably rules; Her iron rod is felt By countless knaves and fools. In fact, mankind at large, Black, yellow, white and red, Is given to her in charge, And owns her as a head. But every here and there— Deny it if you can— She breeds a vacant stare Unworthy of a man: A look of dull surprise; A nerveless idle hand: An eye which never tries To threaten or command: In short, a kind of man, If man indeed he be, As worthy of our ban As any that we see: Unspeakably obtuse, Abominably vain, Of very little use, And execrably plain. (James Kenneth Stephen)