Oh! Mr. Malthus! (Stephen Leacock Poems)
'Mother, Mother, here comes Malthus,Mother, hold me tight!Look! It's Mr. Malthus, Mother!Hide me out of sight.'This was the cry of ...
'Mother, Mother, here comes Malthus,Mother, hold me tight!Look! It's Mr. Malthus, Mother!Hide me out of sight.'This was the cry of ...
1I am a great AmericanI am almost nationalistic about it!I love America like a madness!But I am afraid to return ...
A word to the 35,000 now trampingthe streets of this great city,with hands in pockets, gazing listlessly about youat the ...
. ON A RHINE STEAMER. Republic of the West, Enlightened, free, sublime, Unquestionably best Production of our time. The telephone is thine, And thine the Pullman Car, The caucus, the divine Intense electric star. To thee we likewise owe The venerable names Of Edgar Allan Poe, And Mr. Henry James. In short it's due to thee, Thou kind of Western star, That we have come to be Precisely what we are. But every now and then, It cannot be denied, You breed a kind of men Who are not dignified, Or courteous or refined, Benevolent or wise, Or gifted with a mind Beyond the common size, Or notable for tact, Agreeable to me, Or anything, in fact, That people ought to be. 2. ON A PARISIAN BOULEVARD. Britannia rules the waves, As I have heard her say; She frees whatever slaves She meets upon her way. A teeming mother she Of Parliaments and Laws; Majestic, mighty, free: Devoid of common flaws. For here did Shakspere write His admirable plays: For her did Nelson fight And Wolseley win his bays. Her sturdy common sense Is based on solid grounds: By saving numerous pence She spends effective pounds. The Saxon and the Celt She equitably rules; Her iron rod is felt By countless knaves and fools. In fact, mankind at large, Black, yellow, white and red, Is given to her in charge, And owns her as a head. But every here and there— Deny it if you can— She breeds a vacant stare Unworthy of a man: A look of dull surprise; A nerveless idle hand: An eye which never tries To threaten or command: In short, a kind of man, If man indeed he be, As worthy of our ban As any that we see: Unspeakably obtuse, Abominably vain, Of very little use, And execrably plain. (James Kenneth Stephen)
FROM Venus born, thy beauty shows;But who thy father, no man knows:Nor can the skilful herald traceThe founder of thy ...
Wee heare of dire portents, and Prodigies, Sad meteours of bloud, and fire, The signes of heavenly ire, Forewarners of the Earths calamityes, Summons ...
All of us - righteous and sinners,Born in prison, raised at the altar,All of us are funny actorsIn the theater ...
The HumiliationThe Summary of the Poem.Theophila, or Divine Love, ascends to her Belov'd by three Degrees. By Humilitie, by Zeal, ...
The Admiration.ARGUMENT. Coeli trina MONAS, TRIAS una, faveto precanti! PERSONAS un? Tres DEITATE colo! Sunt tria, sunt & idem, Fons, ...
_Xochipilli icuic._ 1. Ye cuicaya tocniuaya ouaya yeo, ye cuicaya ye quetzalcoxcuxayoaltica tlao cinteutla, oay. 2. Can quicaquiz nocuic ocoyoalle ...
Tho' I own I have no adequate proofsOf this queer tale of the quaint old Goophs - The Goophs ...
When, darkly brooding on this Modern Age, The journalist with his marketable woes Fills up once more the inevitable page ...
They may be duds or they may be drones, Or legislators heaven-sent;But the A.L.P. for all atones When it gets ...
When, darkly brooding on this Modern Age, The journalist with his marketable woes Fills up once more the inevitable page ...
I feel no small reluctance in venturing to give to the public a work of the character of that indicated ...
I have taken advantage of the publication of a Second Edition of my translation of the Poems of Goethe (originally ...
I'll tell you the story of Balbus, You know, him as builded a wall; I'll tell you the reason he ...
Many setups. At least as many falls. Winter is paralyzing the country, but not here. Here, the boys are impersonating ...
O ME, man of slack faith so long! Standing aloof-denying portions so long; Only aware to-day of compact, all-diffused truth; ...
Higgledy piggledy, my black hen, She lays eggs for gentlemen. Gentlemen come every day To count what my black hen ...
I. A NEGRO SERMON:-SIMON LEGREE (To be read in your own variety of negro dialect.) Legree's big house was white ...
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