A woman is queer, there’s no doubt about that.
She hates to be thin and she hates to be fat;
One minute it’s laughter, the next it’s a cry–
You can’t understand her, however you try;
But there’s one thing about her which everyone knows–
A woman’s not dressed till she powders her nose.
You never can tell what a woman will say;
She’s a law to herself every hour of the day.
It keeps a man guessing to know what to do,
And mostly he’s wrong when his guessing is through;
But this you can bet on, wherever she goes
She’ll find some occasion to powder her nose.
I’ve studied the sex for a number of years;
I’ve watched her in laughter and seen her in tears;
On her ways and her whims I have pondered a lot,
To find what will please her and just what will not;
But all that I’ve learned from the start to the close
Is that sooner or later she’ll powder her nose.
At church or a ball game, a dance or a show,
There’s one thing about her I know that I know–
At weddings or funerals, dinners of taste,
You can bet that her hand will dive into her waist,
And every few minutes she’ll strike up a pose,
And the whole world must wait till she powders her nose.
(Edgar Albert Guest)
More Poetry from Edgar Albert Guest:
Edgar Albert Guest Poems based on Topics: Man, Laughter, Cry, Woman, Sense & Perception, Christianity, Dancing, Law & Regulation, Sex- Baby's Got A Tooth (Edgar Albert Guest Poems)
- When Father Played Baseball (Edgar Albert Guest Poems)
- If Only I Were Santa Claus (Edgar Albert Guest Poems)
- Story-Time (Edgar Albert Guest Poems)
- The Change-Worker (Edgar Albert Guest Poems)
- Runner McGee: (Who Had "Return if Possible" Orders) (Edgar Albert Guest Poems)
Readers Who Like This Poem Also Like:
Based on Topics: Man Poems, Sense & Perception Poems, Christianity Poems, Cry Poems, Woman Poems, Law & Regulation Poems, Laughter Poems, Dancing Poems, Sex PoemsBased on Keywords: powders, weddings, funerals