‘Tis strange to live a year or two in Sydney
And get acquaint with all its Nonpareils;
To dine with people of a certain kidney
And bask all in the sunshine of their smiles.
They don’t live quiet as they ought and hid. Nay,
Proud of expulsion from the British Isles
Some glory in their shame. Very strange tales
Are told of gentlemen of New South Wales.
‘Tis strange to see a Justice turning poet
And writing doggerel verse! ‘Tis passing strange!
‘Tis wondrous pitiful, Judge Field! I’ll show it
From some quotations! You ascend the range
Of Mount Parnassus! Mr Justice, No! it
Will never do! Down! Down! When once the mange
Of rhyming doth infect a Judge’s skin,
He’ll scratch for ever if he once begin.
I’ve seen in drug-shops flowers of camomile
And flowers of brimstone for our brother Sawney.
Jalap in flowers comes from some Indian isle;
‘Tis a good purgative when mixed with honey.
Some flowers are good for physic – some for bile,
While some, though prized, are scarcely worth your money;
But “Botany Bay Flowers,” one grain for a doze
Would make a badger vomit, I suppose.
The Ghost of ancient Bavius stood ashamed
When the said Flowers arrived from Botany Bay;
And Maevius by the bard of Mantua famed
Stormed like Hibernians on St. Patrick’s day;
And Pluto had not soon the tumult tamed,
Had he not thrown the Judge’s Flowers away.
“These filthy Flowers,” they cried, “pollute the place.
We sha’n’t stay here, great Pluto, in disgrace.”
In Pluto’s realm there ne’er was such a kickup;
(You’ll read it in his Government Gazette),
Even Cerberus himself caught a vile hiccup
From barking at the uproar. Nay, so beset
With sickness was the cur, he would not lick up
His own sweet vomit, and his three heads met
Like quakers at a meeting. Nay, old Charon
Vowed he’d ne’er ferry o’er more flowers for Barron.
(John Dunmore Lang)
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Based on Topics: Place Poems, Flowers Poems, Cry Poems, Smiling Poems, Success Poems, Money & Wealth Poems, Law & Regulation Poems, Ghost Poems, Justice Poems, Quotations PoemsBased on Keywords: infect, cerberus, quakers, botany, kidney, mange, gazette, camomile, doggerel, mantua, expulsion