YE powers fantastic ! goblin, sylph and fay,
Whose subtle forms no laws material sway ;
Ethereal essences, that dart and glide
Wherever pleasure or caprice may guide ;
Who leap with equal ease, if ye are bid,
A lady’s thimble and a pyramid,
And scale, alike regardless of a fall,
The parlour fender and the Chinese wall,
Slip through a key-hole, ‘neath the listed door,
Or from the smallest crevice in the floor ;
Or steer your way (and man’s devices mock)
Through the dark mazes of a patent lock ;–
Of you I sing not–but my theme shall be
Of things as quick and volatile as ye,
–Those busy, subtle pronouns, I and Me.
Unsought, and unexpected they appear ;
No barriers heed they, and no laws revere;
But wind and penetrate, with dextrous force,
Through all the cracks and crannies of discourse.
Of those with whom self proves the darling theme,
Not all indulge it in a like extreme ;
Some have the sense to cover it no doubt ;
Would they had sense enough to root it out !
We therefore bring, as first upon the list,
The loud, loquacious, vulgar egotist ;
Whose I’s and Me’s are scattered in his talk,
Thick as the pebbles on a gravel walk.
Whate’er the topic be, through thick and thin
Himself is thrust, or squeezed, or sidled in.
Conceiving thus his own importance swells,
He makes himself a part of all he tells ;
And still to this he winds the subject round :
Suppose his friend is married, sick, or drowned,
He brought about the match, he lets you know ;
Told him about Miss B. a year ago ;
Or never shall forget, whate’er ensues,
How much he felt when first he heard the news.
A horseman thrown, lay weltering in the mud;
He thought of something that would stop the blood.
A neighhour had a quarrel with his wife ;
He never saw such doings in his life !
A fire broke out at midnight in the town ;
He started up, threw on his flannel gown,
Seized an old hat full twice as large as his,
And said, says he , ‘I wonder where it is !’
Was doubtful if ’twere best to stay or go,
And trembled like a leaf, from top to toe.
In vain at times, some modest stander-by,
Catching a pause to make his brief reply,
Cries, ‘dear!’ or ‘only think!’ or, ‘so did I ;’
For he, by no such obstacles deterred,
Runs on, must tell his tale, and will be heard.
Woe to themselves, and woe to small and great,
When two good egotists are t
(Jane Taylor)
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Based on Topics: Sense & Perception Poems, Friendship Poems, Cry Poems, Fire Poems, Romantic Love Poems, Self Poems, Media & News Poems, Disagreement & Quarelling PoemsBased on Keywords: volatile, not-but, deterred, loquacious, sidled, dextrous, pronouns, key-hole, egotist, stander-by