in a frenzy I turn the whole house upside down
from basement to attic, amazing myself, I can’t stop wondering
what imp has possessed me, it’s really
so ludicrous
with no prior plan, although at times
it seems all predetermined inside me
I choose what to discard, what to give away and to whom
and who could even see a use for
any of the things I find, forgotten, useless
badly made
so many that are worthless, that now have nothing to say
yet were all so significant once
I leave no closet untouched, haul out
boxes and trunks, look the bookshelves over
pull out and turn all drawers upside down, even the secret ones
even those securely locked, with the jewels and photographs inside
in the evening, dusty, exhausted, my head
wrapped in cobwebs, I look into the clear
water cupped in my hands: yes, it’s me
making changes and changing, desperate for change
(Nijole Miliauskaite)
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