Is fuel efficiency really what we need most desperately? I say that what we really need is a car that can be shot when it breaks down.
More Quotes from Russell Baker:
It was dramatic to watch my grandmother decapitate a turkey with an ax the day before Thanksgiving. Nowadays the expense of hiring grandmothers for the ax work would probably qualify all turkeys so honored with gourmet status.Russell Baker
Caution: These verses may be hazardous to your solemnity.
Russell Baker
Those people who taught Hubert Humphrey a lesson will still be enjoying the Nixon Supreme Court when Tricia and Julie begin to find silver threads among the gold and the black.
Russell Baker
The worst thing about the miracle of modern communications is the Pavlovian pressure it places upon everyone to communicate whenever a bell rings.
Russell Baker
Inanimate objects are classed scientifically into three major categories those that don't work, those that break down and those that don't get lost.
Russell Baker
I gave up on new poetry myself 30 years ago when most of it began to read like coded messages passing between lonely aliens in a hostile world.
Russell Baker
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I was a singer professionally when I was four years old, and I did not really begin to play any instrument - the first one, of course, was drums - till I was about nine years old.
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From now on we live in a world where man has walked on the Moon. It's not a miracle; we just decided to go.
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