I was terrible at straight items. When I wrote obituaries, my mother said the only thing I ever got them to do was die in alphabetical order.
More Quotes from Erma Bombeck:
I do not participate in a sport with ambulances at the bottom of the hill.Erma Bombeck
Seize the moment. Remember all those women on the 'Titanic' who waved off the dessert cart.
Erma Bombeck
Everyone is guilty at one time or another of throwing out questions that beg to be ignored, but mothers seem to have a market on the supply. Do you want a spanking or do you want to go to bed Don't you want to save some of the pizza for your brother Wasn't there any change
Erma Bombeck
Most women put off entertaining until the kids are grown.
Erma Bombeck
There is a thin line that separates laughter and pain, comedy and tragedy, humor and hurt.
Erma Bombeck
The only reason I would take up jogging is so I could hear heavy breathing again.
Erma Bombeck
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Based on Keywords: alphabetical, obituariesSo popular is the naval service the only embarrassment is that men volunteer so rapidly we have to work overtime to give them hardy, adequate housing and proper training.
Josephus Daniels
If the universe is running down like a clock, the clock must have been wound up at a date which we could name if we knew it. The world, if it is to have an end in time, must have had a beginning in time.
Dean Inge
If Solomon counts the day of one's death better than the day of one's birth, there can be no objection why that also may not be reckoned amongst one's remarkable and happy days.
John Aubrey