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135+ Sarcastic Quotes To Lighten Up Mood

Best Sarcastic Quotes About Life, Work And Love

in Attitude, Life, Quotes
Sarcastic Quotes

Sarcastic Quotes

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Sarcasm is the best way to fill life with humor and fun and no doubt it gives the flavour of honesty because in any sarcastic quotes there is some truth behind it. Sometimes people prefer to share their feelings with sarcastic comments as being serious all the time is not desirable.

Even you will agree with this statement that a sarcastic person is loved by everyone, like Chandler from F.R.I.E.N.D.S? Could I be any more wrong?

It is always good to laugh a little every day but being sarcastic all the time could be harsh too. So it is mandatory to know the limit and use the best sarcastic remarks with the people you are close with. If you want some tips to be sarcastic in a meaningful way then check out the below mentioned Sarcastic Quotes.

 

Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
Alan Dundes

sarcastic quotes

 

Today’s public figures can no longer write their own speeches or books, and there is some evidence that they can’t read them either.
Gore Vidal

Sarcastic

 

When I was a boy I was told that anybody could become President. I’m beginning to believe it.
Clarence Darrow

sarcastic quotes

 

What difference does it make how much you have? What you do not have amounts to much more.
Seneca the Younger

Sarcastic

 

There’s a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot.
Steven Wright

Sarcastic

 

I would challenge you to a battle of wits, but I see you are unarmed!

William Shakespeare

sarcastic quotes

 

If you find it hard to laugh at yourself, I would be happy to do it for you.
Groucho Marx

sarcastic quotes

People who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do.
Isaac Asimov

Sarcastic

 

A woman’s mind is cleaner than a man’s: She changes it more often.
Oliver Herford

Sarcastic

 

I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered, what do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks?
George Carlin

sarcastic quotes

 

A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money.
W. C. Fields

sarcastic quotes

 

Suppose you were an idiot, and suppose you were a member of Congress; but I repeat myself.
Mark Twain

sarcastic quotes

 

There is always something ridiculous about the emotions of people whom one has ceased to love.
Oscar Wilde

Sarcastic quotes

 

I have wondered at times what the Ten Commandments would have looked like if Moses had run them through the US Congress.
Ronald Reagan

Sarcastic

 

Why do we laugh at such terrible things? Because comedy is often the sarcastic realization of inescapable tragedy.

Bryant H. McGill

Sarcastic quotes

 

If the black box flight recorder is never damaged during a plane crash, why isn’t the whole airplane made out of that stuff?

George Carlin

Sarcastic quotes

 

The word aerobics comes from two Greek words: aero, meaning ‘ability to’, bics, meaning ‘withstand’ tremendous boredom.
Dave Barry

Sarcastic

 

Many wealthy people are little more than janitors of their possessions.

Frank Lloyd Wright

Sarcastic quotes

 

Women are made to be loved, not understood.

Oscar Wilde

Sarcastic

 

Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
Steven Wright

Sarcastic

 

If you’re too open-minded; your brains will fall out.

Lawrence Ferlinghetti

Sarcastic quotes

 

Ocean: A body of water occupying about two-thirds of a world made for man – who has no gills.

Ambrose Bierce

Sarcastic

 

A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

Steven Wright

Sarcastic

 

Abstract art: a product of the untalented sold by the unprincipled to the utterly bewildered.

Al Capp

Sarcastic

 

I am’ is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that ‘I do’ is the longest sentence?
George Carlin

Sarcastic

 

Alcohol may be man’s worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy.

Frank Sinatra

Sarcastic

 

To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first, and call whatever you hit the target.

Ashleigh Brilliant

Sarcastic

 

The secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.

Albert Einstein

Sarcastic

 

This film cost $31 million. With that kind of money I could have invaded some country.

Clint Eastwood

Sarcastic

 

That’s why they call it the American Dream, because you have to be asleep to believe it.

George Carlin

Sarcastic

 

Between men and women there is no friendship possible. There is passion, enmity, worship, love, but no friendship.

Oscar Wilde

Sarcastic

 

Muscles come and go; flab lasts.

Bill Vaughan

Sarcastic

 

They say marriages are made in Heaven. But so is thunder and lightning.

Clint Eastwood

Sarcastic

 

We didn’t lose the game; we just ran out of time.

Vince Lombardi

Sarcastic

 

One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.

George Carlin

Sarcastic

See Also: Inspiring Story Of John Wayne And Famous Quotes

Funny Sarcastic Quotes

You may believe it or not but using sarcasm in everyday routine can benefit you in some unexpected ways. Some studies suggest that sarcasm can make you a better person but for that you have to be a two-way person. If you like giving sarcastic comments then you should be strong enough when you receive sarcastic comments from someone.

Being a sarcastic person makes you creative, imaginative and outspoken. No wonder some people find it challenging to get the hidden meaning of epic sarcastic quotes and then there are others who have no problem in finding the sense of it all. So to keep you engaged we have a great selection of ‘Best Sarcasm Sayings’ that you can share with all your friends.

 

If you want to change the world, do it while you’re single. Once you’re married you can’t even change the TV Channel.
Unknown

 

Left to themselves, things tend to go from bad to worse.
Murphy’s Laws

 

True bonding is when you and your friends are all angry about the same thing.
Unknown

 

If I wanted to kill myself I would climb your ego and jump to your IQ.
Unknown

 

At every party, there are two kinds of people – those who want to go home and those who don’t. The trouble is, they are usually married to each other.
Ann Landers

 

If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.
Murphy’s Laws

 

You never realize how truly sarcastic you are until you have a mini-me who acts the same way.
Unknown

 

I love sarcasm. It’s like punching people in the face but with words.
Unknown

 

My neighbor’s diary says that I have boundary issues.
Unknown

Funny Sarcastic Quotes

 

 

What we feel and think and are is to a great extent determined by the state of our ductless glands and viscera.
Aldous Huxley

 

People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day.
A. A. Milne

 

I don’t have the energy to pretend to like you today.
Unknown

 

There’s no secret about success. Did you ever know a successful man who didn’t tell you about it?
Kin Hubbard

 

Reality is just a crutch for people who can’t cope with drugs.
Robin Williams

 

I am so clever that sometimes I don’t understand a single word of what I am saying.
Oscar Wilde

 

I’m not saying I hate you, what I’m saying is that you are literally the Monday of my life.
Unknown

 

Honesty may be the best policy, but insanity is the best defense.
Unknown

 

God gave men both a penis and a brain, but unfortunately not enough blood supply to run both at the same time.
Robin Williams

 

An apple a day keeps anything away if you throw it hard enough.
Unknown

 

I’m sorry I hurt your feelings when I called you stupid. I really thought you already knew.
Unknown

 

When something goes wrong in your life, just yell “Plot Twist” and move on.
Unknown

Funny Sarcastic Quotes

 

Politics: ‘Poli’ a Latin word meaning ‘many’; and ‘tics’ meaning ‘bloodsucking creatures’.
Robin Williams

 

Come here you big, beautiful cup of coffee and lie to me about how much we’re going to get done today.
Unknown

 

Sarcasm – the ability to insult idiots without them realizing it.
Unknown

 

I hate it when I think I’m buying organic vegetables but when I get home, I discover they’re just regular donuts.
Unknown

 

Unless your name is Google stop acting like you know everything.
Unknown

 

If you think you are too small to be effective, you have never been in the dark with a mosquito.
Unknown

 

He was happily married – but his wife wasn’t.
Victor Borge

 

I am not young enough to know everything.
Oscar Wilde

 

Yet despite the look on my face… you are still talking.
Unknown

 

When one door closes, another opens. Or you can open the closed door. That’s how doors work.
Unknown

Funny Sarcastic Quotes

 

 

All the good ones are taken.
Murphy’s Laws

 

Always remember that you’re unique. Just like everyone else.
Unknown

 

Find your patience before I lose mine.
Unknown

 

Nobody really cares if you’re miserable, so you might as well be happy.
Cynthia Nelms

 

Money can’t buy love, but it sure gets you a great bargaining position.

Murphy’s Laws

 

An optimist thinks that this is the best possible world. A pessimist fears that this is true.
Robert Oppenheimer

 

Just because I don’t care doesn’t mean I don’t understand.
Unknown

 

They say each day is a gift! Well, I want to know where customer service is so I can return this one!!
Unknown

 

The more beautiful the woman is who loves you, the easier it is to leave her with no hard feelings.
Murphy’s Laws

Funny Sarcastic Quotes

 

 

It’s amazing how you can have to worst day ever, but still laugh at yourself when you push a door that says pull.
Unknown

 

Sometimes I need what only you can provide: your absence.
Ashleigh Brilliant

 

Need money for college. Need college for a job. Need a job for money. Who was the mastermind behind this system?
Unknown

 

Romance has been elegantly defined as the offspring of fiction and love.

Benjamin Disraeli

 

My attitude in exams. They give me questions I don’t know. I give them answers they don’t know.
Unknown

 

Sarcasm: because arguing with stupid people just wouldn’t be as much fun.

Unknown

 

Before you judge a man, walk a mile in his shoes. After that who cares?… He’s a mile away and you’ve got his shoes!
Billy Connolly

 

It’s a match made in heaven…by a retarded angel.
Woody Allen

Funny Sarcastic Quotes

 

 

I’m sorry. I was listening until, out of nowhere, I became distracted by this loud, obnoxious noise that turned out to be your voice.
Unknown

See Also: 175+ Girlfriend Quotes To Show Your Immense Love

Sarcastic Inspirational Quotes

Not everyone is comfortable around a sarcastic person but then it is true that one should have a unique taste in humor to find fun in sarcastic quotes. We are not here to bother the people who don’t like it; instead we do appreciate the fact that the majority of them really enjoy the absolute fun behind it. It is not easy to be a sarcastic person.

One who is smart and has a sharp sense of humor can make these statements and jokes on point. That doesn’t mean the people who don’t enjoy it are dumb but they are often considered as serious people in their life. Well we have gathered some of the ‘Sarcastic Inspirational Quotes’ about life, relationships and a workplace that will definitely make you share them with all your friends and family.

 

Don’t you hate people who use big words just to make themselves look perspicacious?
Unknown

 

Sarcasm is the secret language that everyone uses when they want to say something mean to your face.

Unknown

 

I always say “Morning” Instead of “Good Morning” Because if it was a good morning, I would still be in bed and not talking to people.
Unknown

Sarcastic Inspirational Quotes

 

 

People that pay for things never complain. It’s the guy you give something to that you can’t please.
Will Rogers

 

You know what I like about people? Their dogs.
Unknown

 

I want to be the reason you look down at your phone and smile. Then walk into a pole.
Unknown

 

A half truth is a whole lie.
Yiddish Proverb

 

Repeating quotes from funny movies doesn’t make you funny.
Unknown

 

Silence is golden. Duct tape is silver.
Unknown

 

Half the world is composed of idiots, the other half of people clever enough to take indecent advantage of them.
Walter Kerr

 

I’d tell you to go to hell, but I work there and don’t want to see your ugly mug every day.
Unknown

 

Just keep talking, I yawn when I’m interested.
Unknown

 

What are the proper proportions of a maxim? A minimum of sound to a maximum of sense.
Mark Twain

 

I send pointless emails late at night to impress coworkers.
Unknown

Sarcastic Inspirational Quotes

 

 

I never forget a face, but in your case, I’ll be glad to make an exception.
Unknown

 

Please submit your ideas to me today so I can submit them as my own tomorrow.
Unknown

 

Sarcasm: Helping the intelligent politely tolerate the obtuse for thousands of years.
Unknown

 

There’s no better vacation than my boss being on vacation.

Unknown

See Also: Inspirational Walt Disney Quotes To Get Best Out Of Your Lives

 

The more that learn to read, the less learn how to make a living. That’s one thing about a little education. It spoils you for actual work. The more you know the more you think somebody owes you a living.
Will Rogers

 

Sometimes I have my headphones in at work with nothing playing so I don’t have to interact with chatty co-workers.
Unknown

 

Everyone has the right to be stupid, but you are abusing the privilege.
Unknown

 

I always tell new hires, ‘Don’t think of me as your boss, think of me as a friend who can fire you.’
Unknown

 

People say that laughter is the best medicine… your face must be curing the world.

Unknown

 

Thanks for calling me to tell me that you just sent me an email.
Unknown

 

Here’s to another day of outward smiles and inward screams.
Unknown

Sarcastic Inspirational Quotes

 

If at first, you don’t succeed, skydiving is not for you.
Unknown

 

I don’t always tolerate stupid people. But when I do, I’m probably at work.
Unknown

 

I can explain it to you but I can’t understand it for you.
Unknown

 

I haven’t even gone to bed yet and I already can’t wait to come home from work tomorrow.
Unknown

 

So you mean to tell me a stress ball isn’t for throwing at people who stress you out?
Unknown

 

Don’t mistake my efficiency as meaning I want to do your job, too.
Unknown

 

Let’s share… You’ll take the grenade, I’ll take the pin.
Unknown

 

Sarcasm helps me overcome the harshness of the reality we live, eases the pain of scars and makes people smile.
Mahmoud Darwish

 

Fighting with me is like being in the special olympics. You may win, but in the end you’re still a retard.
Unknown

Sarcastic Inspirational Quotes

 

Sarcasm is the lowest form of wit! Yet it remains the funniest.

Oscar Wilde

 

Work tip: Stand up. Stretch. Take a walk. go to the airport. Get on a plane. Never return.
Unknown

 

If you’re going to tell people the truth, be funny or they’ll kill you.
Billy Wilder

 

I’m sorry. I know I said hi, but I wasn’t really prepared for any follow-up conversation.
Unknown

 

It’s weird, marriage. It’s like this license that gives a person the legal right to control their spouse / their ‘other half.
Jess C. Scott

 

One might be led to suspect that there were all sorts of things going on in the Universe which he or she did not thoroughly understand.
Kurt Vonnegut

 

Oh, and I suppose the apples ate the cheese.
Suzanne Collins

 

A celebrity is a person who works hard all his life to become well-known, then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized.
Fred Allen

 

A prisoner of war is a man who tries to kill you and fails, and then asks you not to kill him.
Sir Winston Churchill

Sarcastic Inspirational Quotes

Sarcasm is a light way to add entertainment in life. We hope you like our wide collection of sarcastic quotes and share it on social media accounts and spread happiness!

 

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