Y'know, you can't please all the people all the time... and last night, all those people were at my show.
More Quotes from Mitch Hedberg:
Kinko's is my favourite copy place cause it's open 24 hours, like if it's three in the morning, and I suddenly decide I need two of something, I'm covered.Mitch Hedberg
I'm against picketing, but I don't know how to show it.
Mitch Hedberg
My apartment is infested with koala bears. It's the cutest infestation ever... Way better than cockroaches. When I turn on the light, a bunch of koala bears scatter. And I don't want 'em to. I'm like, 'Hey, hold on fellas - Let me hold one of you.'
Mitch Hedberg
I can whistle with my fingers, especially if I have a whistle.
Mitch Hedberg
I went to see a band in New York. The lead singer got on the microphone, and he said How many of you people feel like human beings tonight Then he said How many of you feel like animals And everyone cheered after the animals part. But the thing is, I cheered after the human being part because I did not know that there was a second part to the question.
Mitch Hedberg
I bought a seven-dollar pen because I always lose pens and I got sick of not caring.
Mitch Hedberg
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