When I woke up this morning my girlfriend asked me, "Did you sleep good?" I said "No, I made a few mistakes."
More Quotes from Steven Wright:
Someone sent me a postcard picture of the earth. On the back it said, 'Wish you were here.'Steven Wright
I wrote a song, but I can't read music so I don't know what it is. Every once in a while I'll be listening to the radio and I say, 'I think I might have written that.'
Steven Wright
If you think nobody cares about you, try missing a couple of payments.
Steven Wright
I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.
Steven Wright
I have the world's largest collection of seashells. I keep it on all the beaches of the world... perhaps you've seen it.
Steven Wright
Every once in a while I like to stick my head out the window, look up at the sky and smile ... for a satellite picture.
Steven Wright
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Based on Topics: Error & Mistake QuotesBased on Keywords: girlfriend
I've never had an easy relationship with critics. I hold a lot of homicide in my heart. If this was another time, I'd be packing a piece.
Jim Dine
From the sea came a boat with some Israeli commando soldiers who took me by the commando boat to the yacht and put me on the yacht. In the yacht I asked people, who are you. And they said we are Israelis, French and British.
Mordechai Vanunu
There are a lot of clear thinkers everywhere.
Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn