I never worry about being driven to drink; I just worry about being driven home.
More Quotes from W. C. Fields:
The first thing any comedian does on getting an unscheduled laugh is to verify the state of his buttons.W. C. Fields
There comes a time in the affairs of man when he must take the bull by the tail and face the situation.
W. C. Fields
Madam, there's no such thing as a tough child - if you parboil them first for seven hours, they always come out tender.
W. C. Fields
I like to keep a bottle of stimulant handy in case I see a snake, which I also keep handy.
W. C. Fields
If you're a real good kid, I'll give you a piggy-back ride on a buzz-saw.
W. C. Fields
The laziest man I ever met put popcorn in his pancakes so they would turn over by themselves.
W. C. Fields
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