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Woody Allen Quotes (171 Quotes)


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  • I was thrown out of NYU for cheating-with the deans wife
    (Woody Allen)

  • We were married by a reformed rabi in Long Island. A very reformed rabi, a Nazi.
    (Woody Allen)

  • Life is divided into the horrible and the miserable.
    (Woody Allen)

  • The good people sleep much better at night than the bad people. Of course, the bad people enjoy the waking hours much more.
    (Woody Allen)

  • I learned a few things on my own since, and modified some of the things he taught me, but everything, unequivocally, that I learned about comedy writing I learned from Danny Simon,
    (Woody Allen)


  • Nietzsche says that we will live the same life, over and over again. God - I'll have to sit through the Ice Capades again.
    (Woody Allen)

  • It is no secret that organized crime in America takes in over forty billion dollars a year. This is quite a profitable sum, especially when one considers that the Mafia spends very little for office supplies.
    (Woody Allen)

  • Today I saw a red-and-yellow sunset and thought, how insignificant I am Of course, I thought that yesterday, too, and it rained.
    (Woody Allen)

  • It's something that occurs to me many times in my movies. They can often be treated comically or dramatically, and I usually opt to treat them comically. But it occurred to me that you could get a story and you could fool around with it both ways.
    (Woody Allen)

  • I like the film, and that's rare for me to say because I make films and I am almost invariably disappointed. When I saw ('Match Point'), I said, 'My God, it came out.' It surprised me. . . . So I am enjoying the experience because it happens so rarely for me.
    (Woody Allen)

  • Seventy percent of success in life is showing up.
    (Woody Allen)

  • I'm going to give my psychoanalyst one more year, then I'm going to Lourdes
    (Woody Allen)

  • I want to tell you a terrific story about oral contraception. I asked this girl to sleep with me and she said 'No.'
    (Woody Allen)

  • My grandfather was a very insignificant man, actually. At his funeral his hearse followed the other cars.
    (Woody Allen)

  • Why are our days numbered and not, say, lettered?
    (Woody Allen)


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