Will Rogers Quotes (368 Quotes)

Let advertisers spend the same amount of money improving their product that they do on advertising and they wouldn't have to advertise it.

I am a Cherokee and it's the proudest little possession I ever hope to have.

A difference of opinion is what makes horse racing and missionaries.

Alexander Hamilton started the U.S. Treasury with nothing, and that was the closest our country has ever been to being even.

People love high ideals, but they got to be about 33-percent plausible

Politics has become so expensive that it takes a lot of money even to be defeated.

When should a college athlete turn pro? Not until he has earned all he can in college as an amateur.

If you want to know how a man stands, go among the people who are in his same business.

There's no trick to being a humorist when you have the whole government working for you.

I never met a man I didn't like.

The public perceives there are problems with the water system, and with the efficiency of the system. We need some leadership and to provide expertise in the area of efficiency.

We changed with the times, so we can't blame the children for just joining the times without even having to change.

The schools ain't what they used to be and never was.

The best way out of a difficulty is through it.

Both political parties have their good times and bad times, only they have them at different times.

America is a nation that conceives many odd inventions for getting somewhere but it can think of nothing to do once it gets there.

You know you've got to exercise your brain just like your muscles.

I read about eight newspapers in a day. When I'm in a town with only one newspaper, I read it eight times.

As bad as we sometimes think our government is run, it is the best run I ever saw.

Take the diplomacy out of war and the thing would fall flat in a week.

When you give a lesson in meanness to a critter or a person, don't be surprised if they learn their lesson

So live that you would not mind selling your pet parrot to the town gossip

People are marvelous in their generosity if they just know the cause is there.

It's a beautiful thought (Mother's Day), but it's somebody with a hurting conscience that thought of the idea.

My father was one eighth Cherokee and my mother one fourth Cherokee, which I figure makes me about an eighth cigar-store Injun.

We have the best Congress money can buy.

Do the best you can, and don't take life too serious.

Lord, the money we do spend on government, and it's not one bit better than the government that we got for one-third the money 20 years ago.

Nobody wants to be called common people, especially common people.

It isn't what we don't know that gives us trouble, it's what we know that ain't so.

It costs ten times more to govern that it used to, and we are not governed one-tenth as good.

I have always noticed that people will never laugh at anything that is not based on truth.

In a real estate man's eyes, the most exclusive part of the city is wherever he has a house to sell.

If advertisers spent the same amount of money on improving their products as they do on advertising then they wouldn't have to advertise them.

There is no income tax in Russia. But there's no income.

There ain't nothing that breaks up homes, country, and nations like somebody publishing their memoirs.

The best thing about this group of candidates is that only one of them can win.

Politics is not worrying this country one-tenth as much as where to find a parking space.

In Hollywood the woods are full of people that learned to write but evidently can't read. If they could read their stuff, they'd stop writing.

Money, horse racing and women, three things the boys just can't figure out.

I have a scheme for stopping war. It's this - no nation is allowed to enter a war till they have paid for the last one.

The trouble with practical jokes is that very often they get elected.

The minute a thing is long and complicated it confuses. Whoever wrote the Ten Commandments made 'em short. They may not always be kept but they are understood.

There ought to be one day -- just one -- where there is open season on senators.

The business of government is to keep the government out of business - that is, unless business needs government aid

Nothing makes a man or body of men as mad as the truth. If there is no truth in it they laugh it off.

Ancient Rome declined because it had a Senate, now what's going to happen to us with both a House and a Senate?

I'll bet you the time ain't far off when a woman won't know any more than a man.

If you want to know when a war might be coming, you just watch the U.S. and see when it starts cutting down on its defenses. It's the surest barometer in the world.

I don't think you can make a lawyer honest by an act of legislature. You've got to work on his conscience. And his lack of conscience is what makes him a lawyer.