Will Cuppy Quotes (15 Quotes)

I don't like to boast, but I have probably skipped more poetry than any other person of my age and weight in this country.

Just when you're beginning to think pretty well of people, you run across somebody who puts sugar on sliced tomatoes.

Caesar might have married Cleopatra, but he had a wife at home. There's always something.

Aristotle was famous for knowing everything. He taught that the brain exists merely to cool the blood and is not involved in the process of thinking. This is true only of certain persons.

It's easy to see the faults in people I know; it's hardest to see the good. Especially when the good isn't there.

I do not travel. I am not much of an extrovert, and I'm not much interested in extroverted objects. I do not care for the ideas of novelists. Novels are wonderful, of course, but I prefer newspapers.

Sartor Resartus is simply unreadable, and for me that always sort of spoils a book.

Etiquette means behaving yourself a little better than is absolutely essential.

If an animal does something, we call it instinct; if we do the same thing for the same reason, we call it intelligence.

The Dodo never had a chance. He seems to have been invented for the sole purpose of becoming extinct and that was all he was good for.

The trouble with the dictionary is that you have to know how a word is spelled before you can look it up to see how it is spelled.

Some fishes become extinct, but Herrings go on forever. Herrings spawn at all times and places and nothing will induce them to change their ways. They have no fish control. Herrings congregate in schools, where they learn nothing at all. They move in vast numbers in May and October. Herrings subsist upon Copepods and Copepods subsist upon Diatoms and Diatoms just float around and reproduce. Young Herrings or Sperling or Whitebait are rather cute. They have serrated abdomens. The skull of the Common or Coney Island Herring is triangular, but he would be just the same anyway. (The nervous system of the Herring is fairly simple. When the Herring runs into something the stimulus is flashed to the forebrain, with or without results.)

As you know statistics show that a certain number of people get married each year and the rest don't. Well, I got into the wrong bunch of statistics. I should be pitied instead of questioned.

Let's not be too quick to blame the human race for everything. A great many species of animals became extinct before man ever appeared on earth.

Some people lose all respect for the lion unless he devours them instantly. There is no pleasing some people.