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Terry Pratchett Quotes (152 Quotes)


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  • Sometimes it is better to light a flamethrower than curse the darkness.
    (Terry Pratchett)

  • Writing is the most fun you can have by yourself.
    (Terry Pratchett)

  • Of course, Ankh-Morpork's citizens had always claimed that the river water was incredibly pure. Any water that had passed through so many kidneys, they reasoned, had to be very pure indeed.
    (Terry Pratchett)

  • Elves are wonderful. They provoke wonder.Elves are marvellous. They cause marvels.Elves are fantastic. They create fantasies.Elves are glamorous. They project glamour.Elves are enchanting. They weave enchantment.Elves are terrific. They beget terror.The thing about words is that meanings can twist just like a snake, and if you want to find snakes look for them behind words that have changed their meaning.No one ever said elves are nice.Elves are bad.
    (Terry Pratchett)

  • He was the sort of person who stood on mountaintops during thunderstorms in wet copper armour shouting "All the Gods are bastards."
    (Terry Pratchett)


  • Sooner or later we're all someone's dog.
    (Terry Pratchett)

  • In the beginning there was nothing, which exploded.
    (Terry Pratchett)

  • Nigel gave the lamp a cautious buff and small smoking red letters appeared in the air. 'Hi,' Nigel read aloud, 'Do not put down the lamp because your custom is important to us. Please leave a wish after the tone and, very shortly, it will be our command. In the meantime, have a nice eternity.'
    (Terry Pratchett)

  • Somewhere around the place I've got an unfinished short story about Schrodinger's Dog it was mostly moaning about all the attention the cat was getting.
    (Terry Pratchett)

  • He moved in a way that suggested he was attempting the world speed record for the nonchalant walk
    (Terry Pratchett)

  • When millions of tons of angry elephant come spinning through the sky, and there was no one there to hear it, does it - philosopically speaking - make a noise
    (Terry Pratchett)

  • An ancient proverb summed it up when a wizard is tired of looking for broken glass in his dinner, it ran, he is tired of life.
    (Terry Pratchett)

  • Suicide was against the law. Johnny had wondered why. It meant that if you missed, or the gas ran out, or the rope broke, you could get locked up in prison to show you that life was really very jolly and thoroughly worth living.
    (Terry Pratchett)

  • The pen is mightier than the sword if the sword is very short, and the pen is very sharp.
    (Terry Pratchett)

  • He'd noticed that sex bore some resemblance to cookery It fascinated people, they sometimes bought books full of complicated recipes and interesting pictures, and sometimes when they were hungry they created vast banquets in their imagination - but
    (Terry Pratchett)


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