This is a 911? You know you only text that when someone is dead or dying. You scared the crap out of me.
This is a 911? You know you only text that when someone is dead or dying. You scared the crap out of me.
Harder to get in than out, like so little else.
It is kind of hard to hold a lot in. But for me… it's sometimes even harder to let it out.
So I left him there alone to watch history repeat the same events retold again and again on his own.
Family isn't something that's supposed to be static, or set. People marry in, divorce out. They're born, they die. It's always evolving, turning into something else.
The only trick was never giving more that you were willing to lose.
But when you're alone in the world, really alone, you have no choice but to be open to suggestions.
It took a lot of work to be perfect.
Then I'd crawl back into bed, smelling her all around me, and tell myself that next time, I would lock that window. But I never did.
Are those the only options? Nothing or forever?
I can say I made a lot of mistakes, but I don't regret things. Because at least I didn't spend a life standing outside, wondering what living would be like.
Just me and the future, finally together. Now there was a happy ending I could believe in.
Times like this it did seem real I was leaving, and even more that my family, and this life, would go on without me. And again I felt that emptiness rise up, but pushed it away. Still, I lingered there, in the doorway, memorizing the noise. The moment. Tucking it away out of sight, to be remembered when I needed it most.
I told you, everyone understands a quest.
Maybe it was true, and being a girl could be about interest rates and skinny jeans, riding bikes and wearing pink. Not about any one thing, but everything.
Watching him, I thought, not for the first time that night, that maybe it should have felt strange to be with him, here, now. And yet it didnÆt, at all. That was one of the things about the night. Stuff that would be weird in the bright light of day just wasnÆt so much once you passed a certain hour. It was like the dark just evened it all out somehow.
Honesty in principle was one thing. In someone's face, it was another.
It seemed safer to hold it in, where the only one who could judge was me.
So many versions of just one memory, and yet none of them were right or wrong. Instead, they were all pieces. Only when fitted together, edge to edge, could they even begin to tell the whole story.
Hey, and for what it's worth? Friends don't leave you alone in the woods. Friends are the ones who come and take you out.
There comes a point when things are undeniable and can't be hidden any longer. Even from yourself.
Doesn't it seem sometimes that the whole world's uphill but at least we know the way back will be easy...
It was becoming clear to me that I shouldn't bother to get too attached to anything. Turn your back and you lose it. Just like that.
Then, a life was ending. Here, one was about to begin. I didn't believe in signs. But it was hard to ignore the fact that someone, somewhere, might have wanted me to go through this again and see there was another outcome.
As if he was beating me to the punch, his words living forever, while I was left speechless, no rebuttal, no words left to say.
I didn't trot my pain out to show around. I kept it better hidden than anyone. I did.
Life isn't only about the big moments whether they be good or bad. Maybe itÆs about the small things that stretch out to strengthen the most tenuous bound.
What did it feel like, I wondered, to love someone that much? So much that you couldn't even control yourself when they came close, as if you might just break free of whatever was holding you and throw yourself at them with enough force to easily overwhelm you both.
I trailed off and he didn't push me to finish. I was finding that I liked that.
Maybe the truth was it shouldnÆt be easy to be amazing. Then everything would be. ItÆs the things that you fight for and struggle with before earning that have the greatest worth. When somethingÆs difficult to come by, youÆll do that much more to make sure itÆs even harderùif not possibleùto lose.
What do you do when you finally hear everything you've always thought said aloud?
How it seemed like you could see everything, but certain things were blocked out, hidden.
It was great. Freedom even the imagined kind always is.
The worst part was that I had things I wanted to tell my mother, too many to count, but none of them would go down so easy. She'd been through too much, between my siters-I could not add to the weight. So instead, I did my best to balance it out, bit by bit, word by word, story by story, even if none of them were true.
I always tried to imagine what it would be like to open your door to find something you had given up on. maybe it had seen places you never had, been rerouted and passed through so many strange hands, but still somehow found its way back to you, all before the day even began.
There's just something obvious about emptiness, even when you try to convince yourself otherwise.
Donneven, Bettaquit and Mmmhmmmm
It was like that part of my life, was just gone. It was almost too easy, for something I once thought had meant everything.
There is never a time or place for true love. It happens accidentally, in a heartbeat, in a single flashing, throbbing moment.
But even more so, it reminded me that this was all really happening. Stanford. The end of the summer. The beginning of my real life. It was no longer just creeping up, peeking over the horizon, but instead lingering in plain sight.
I drove off, with my friends watching me go, all of them grouped on Lissa's hood. As I pulled onto the road, I glanced into the rearview and saw them: they were waving, hands moving through the air, their voices loud, calling out after me. The square of that mirror was like a frame, holding this picture of them saying good-bye, pushing me forward, before shifting gently out of sight, inch by fluid inch, as I turned away.
Love is needing someone. Love is putting up with someone's bad qualities because they somehow complete you.
Whenever you made a choice, especially one you'd been resisting, it always affected everything else, some in big ways, like a tremor beneath your feet, others in so tiny a shift you hardly noticed a change at all. But it was happening.
I waited. Because with Eli, he was never trying to get you to finish for him. He always knew where he was going, even if it took a little while to get there.
Maybe the truth was, it shouldn't be risky to be amazing. Then everything would be. It's the things you fight for and struggle with before earning that have the greatest worth. When something's difficult to come by, you'll do that much more to make sure it's even harder - if not impossible - to lose.
When you don't know where you're going, maybe it wasn't such a bad thing to have more than you need.
I am the middle sister. The one in between. Not oldest, not youngest, not boldest, not nicest. I am the shade of gray, the glass half empty or full, depending on your view. In my life, there has been little that I have done first or better than the one preceding or following me. Of all of us, though, I am the only one who has been broken.
It was like when you're a little kid and you run into your teacher or librarian at the grocery store or Wal-mart and it's just so startling, because it never occurred to you they existed outside of school.
There comes a time when the world gets quiet and the only thing left is your own heart. So you'd better learn the sound of it. Otherwise you'll never understand what it's saying.
If you didn't always have to choose between turning away for good or rushing in deeper. In the moments that it really counts, maybe it's enough - more than enough, even - just to be there.
© 2020 Inspirational Stories
© 2020 Inspirational Stories