Learn the lines and don't bump into the furniture.
I'm not a heavy drinker, I can sometimes go for hours without touching a drop.
Trust your instincts. If you have no instincts, trust your impulses.
Squash - that's not exercise, it's flagellation.
The sun never sets on Government House.
Never mind, dear, we're all made the same, though some more than others.
There's sand in the porridge and sand in the bed, And if this is pleasure we'd rather be dead.
Work is much more fun than fun.
Someday I suspect, when Jesus has definitely got me for a sunbeam, my works may be adequately assessed.
If you must have motivation, think of your paycheck on Friday.
I refuse to endure months of expensive humiliation only to be told that at the age of four I was in love with my rocking horse
Never trust a man with short legs-his brains are too near his bottom
Consider the public. Never fear it nor despise it. Coax it, charm it, interest it, stimulate it, shock it now and then if you must, make it laugh, make it cry, but above all never, never, never bore the living hell out of it.
There are bad times just around the corner, We can all look forward to despair, It's as clear as crystal From Bridlington to Bristol That we can't save democracy And we don't much care.
There's always something fishy about the French.
It's discouraging to think how many people are shocked by honesty and how few by deceit.
People are wrong when they say opera is not what it used to be. It is what it used to be. That is what's wrong with it.
My importance to the world is relatively small. On the other hand, my importance to myself is tremendous. I am all I have to work with, to play with, to suffer and to enjoy. It is not the eyes of others that I am wary of, but of my own. I do not intend to let myself down more than I can possibly help, and I find that the fewer illusions I have about myself or the world around me, the better company I am for myself.
Certain women should be struck regularly, like gongs
I'm over-educated in the things I shouldn't have known at all.
I have always paid income tax. I object only when it reaches a stage when I am threatened with having nothing left for my old age - which is due to start next Tuesday or Wednesday.
My body has certainly wandered a good deal, but I have an uneasy suspicion that my mind has not wandered enough.
I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.
We have no reliable guarantee that the afterlife will be any less exasperating than this one, have we?
I've sometimes thought of marrying - and then I've thought again.
I have a memory like an elephant. In fact, elephants often consult me.
But why, oh why, do the wrong people travel, When the right people stay at home
Let's drink to the spirit of gallantry and courage that made a strange Heaven out of unbelievable Hell, and let's drink to the hope that one day this country of ours, which we love so much, will find dignity and greatness and peace again.
Success took me to her bosom like a maternal boa constrictor.
That strange feeling we had in the war. Have you found anything in your lives since to equal it in strength? A sort of splendid carelessness it was, holding us together.
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