Kinky Friedman Quotes (65 Quotes)

How can you look at the Texas legislature and still believe in intelligent design?

I've always said money may buy you a fine dog, but only love can make it wag its tail.

We've got to clear some of the room out of the prisons so we can put the bad guys in there, like the pedophiles and the politicians.

I admit to drinking it, but I did not swallow.

My wife thinks it should be put out a little bit further.

Musicians can run this state better than politicians. We won't get a lot done in the mornings, but we'll work late and be honest.

The Democrats and Republicans are the same guy admiring themself in the mirror.

May the God of your choice bless and keep you. I respect Him as long as He does not circumcise me anymore.

I don't see how the people who created the problem can fix it. Texas is worth fighting for, and the best way to fight is to get the politicians out of politics.

Young people are the key to this election.

I don't care much about big corporations, frankly. Most politicians never met a special-interest group they didn't like.

This is a true moment in history. When we get on the ballot, we'll be making history.

If you ain't Texan, I ain't got time for you.

Remember: Y'all is singular. All y'all is plural. All y'all's is plural possessive.

People are drooling for the truth. They want honesty from politicians, and they're not getting it.

Always beware of people offering you one-time money. That only works in an election year. How are you going to permanently pay for education

Politics is the only field in which the more experience you have, the worse you get.

If Willie Nelson had been Rosa Parks, there never would have been a civil rights movement in this country, because he refuses to leave the back of the bus.

I'll sign anything except bad legislation.

Yes, I'm a Judeo-Christian. Jesus and Moses are in my heart, and... both of them were independents, by the way.

I'll keep us out of war with Oklahoma!

When I'm governor... I'll be the first governor with a listed telephone number.

I don't remember the first half of my life. All I say is a happy childhood is the worst possible preparation for life.

This is a bad idea. It's like having Dubai run the ports of America. It means we'll be paying tolls to a cowardly Spanish company for 70 years.

The folks in Mississippi are saying, 'Thank God for Texas.'

They knew he was a confession machine who would confess to anything. That's what happened that started this long cycle that Max has gotten here.

We're first on executions. We're 49th in funding public education. We're in a race with Mississippi for the bottom, and we're winning.

You struggle with your demons and you conquer them.

I support gay marriage. I believe they have a right to be as miserable as the rest of us.

Remember, the Legislature is the joke, not our campaign, ... I think we've got a real, real shot.

I have a better head of hair than Rick Perry; it's just not in a place I can show you.

I've always said that this campaign is running on the coin of the spirit. I've also said a journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance. This spiritual journey to the Governor's mansion is a long one, and we are going to need some help.

Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.

I even went so far as to become a Southern Baptist for a while, until I realized that they didn't hold 'em under long enough.

In order to do this, we are gong to have to leave one governor behind. I don't see how the people who created the problem are going to fix it.

Texas can lead the country. We won't be slaves to the Middle East.

I've always thought that she was pretty spunky. I like her spirit.

Remember, I'm not running against Rick Perry I'm running against apathy,

We'll be on the ballot. I think the soul of Texas is riding on this campaign.

No, nothing has changed in my life at all, and nothing would change if I had millions.

I see an issue I like, and I support it.

I'll tell you right now. I'm for prayer in school.

We've had to be creative to get on the ballot.

I admit I was drinking a Guinness... but I did not swallow.

The only currency I value is the coin of the spirit. That's very important in my life.

William Bennett is my patron saint, one of them. Redd Foxx is another.

These days, there are many people around the world who listen to the songs that made me infamous and read the books that made me respectable.

If you elect me the first Jewish justice of the peace, I'll reduce the speed limits to 54.95

Money can buy you a fine dog, but only love can make him wag his tail.

This is really happening. It isn't a dream, or maybe it is, but it's one long, long overdue.