Joan Rivers Quotes (60 Quotes)



    I felt comedy ego beginning to grow, which gave me the courage to begin tentatively looking into myself for material.

    Yeah, I read history. But it doesn't make you nice. Hitler read history, too.

    I get what he meant. He thought about shooting the guy, and that's good enough for me.

    Our natures are a lot like oil, mix us with anything else, and we strive to swim on top.


    Is Elizabeth Taylor fat? Her favorite food is seconds.

    Boy George is all England needs - another queen who can't dress.

    Trust your husband, adore your husband, and get as much as you can in your own name.

    The last time I appeared in Las Vegas, they were wearing hoop skirts and Davy Crockett hats, ... But they say 'What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas.' And as far as fashion is concerned, that's a good thing.

    My obstetrician was so dumb that when I gave birth he forgot to cut the cord. For a year that kid followed me everywhere. It was like having a dog on a leash.


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