Jimmy Fallon Quotes (40 Quotes)

I just really don't like being the center of attention that much. It's kind of ironic.

Hey baby, do you like fine cooking Cause you know what I got Swanson's Dinner in the freezer with your name on it.

Listening is more important than talking. Just hit your mark and believe what you say. Just listen to people and react to what they are saying.

They got a great performance from me. I was happy.

The one thing you shouldn't do is try to tell a cab driver how to get somewhere.

Don't keep reaching for the stars because you'll just look like an idiot stretching that way for no reason.

I know what you want. And I know what you need. But I'm gonna screw it up, yeah, cause I'm an idiot. And I'm your boyfriend.

Sometimes in a movie, the lines are so perfect.

New Scientist magazine reported that in the future, cars could be powered by hazelnuts. That's encouraging, considering an eight-ounce jar of hazelnuts costs about nine dollars. Yeah, I've got an idea for a car that runs on bald eagle heads and Faberge eggs.

Researches tested a new form of medical marijuana that treats pain but doesn't get the user high, prompting patients who need medical marijuana to declare, "Thank you?"

Im starting to think that Im the butt of a joke the whole world is in on.

The fans were so psyched that someone was doing a movie about a Boston fan that they were giving their all.

I'm going to North Pole to help out Santa this year.

I didn't act like I was there. I just got into the story.

Arnold Schwarzenegger's publicist told USA Today that the actor has not ruled out running for governor of California, saying that he will make a decision soon. Reportedly Arnold needs that time to learn how to pronounce "gubernatorial."

You only think of the best comeback when you leave.

We had the guys from X Men 2 do the cameras. They had a 360 camera that would go from one car, up in the air and over to another car in a continuous shot while the film was still rolling, going 90 mph.

I get that all the time, ... People come up and say, 'Me and my wife think you're so funny.' They think I'm him. But that's OK.

If you're a sports fan you realize that when you meet somebody, like a girlfriend, they kind of have to root for your team. They don't have a choice.

I don't shoot guns. I don't know how to do that. I grew Upstate New York, so I fought with my fists.

Sandler's always good. Tom Hanks gave me some good advice.

A Pennsylvania woman convicted for shoplifting was sentenced to wear a badge that reads Convicted Shoplifter. However, her lawyers hope to plea bargain down to a bumper sticker reading I'd Rather Be Stealing.

Ted Kaczynski, the Unabomber, donated many of this writings to the University of Michigan. The pagers are an invaluable resource for students majoring in Crazy.

When I see professional clowns, mimes, or people who makes ballon animals, I think of their relatives and how disappointed they must be.

It's all about the script. Reality is key to me and less cutesy.

I, of course, wanted to do something with Drew Barrymore. Please. So we were reading scripts back and forth and then we found this script, Fever Pitch.

I often try to reassure myself by saying, Well, at least it cant get any worse. But the truth is, it always can. And thats what really terrifies me.

I sing in the car if I'm in LA, because you're like soundproofed.

I had a gun and I had to run and shoot, which is not easy.

Worst of all, the team appeared in The Bad News Bears in Breaking Training, ... Let them play Let them play

We tried to stay as far away from the players as I could. I mean, I don't play for the Red Sox. I didn't want to disrupt any of their joy.

Leno, Conan. They are both really funny. They really know how to land one.

There couldn't have been a better Hollywood ending for us. It's beyond baseball. It's rooting for your family.

In New York, there are so many potholes, they're like craters on the moon. That's another traffic thing.

Researches at Yale found a connection between brain cancer and work environment. The No. 1 most dangerous job for developing brain cancer? Plutonium hat model.

We picked the Red Sox because they lose. If you root for something that loses for 86 years, you're a pretty good fan. You don't have to win everything to be a fan of something.

The running across the field thing, that was the first scene we shot in the movie. We asked the audience to stay for the scene, and 37,000 people stayed.

The Pentagon banned the army from using Chinese-made berets. In a more veiled slap at the Chinese, the Pentagon also banned any alternative form of checkers.

I never sing in the shower. It's very dangerous.

I first met Queen when we worked together on Saturday Night Live and you just saw immediately that she got comedy. Immediately she got every joke.