I'm sitting there hearing him pick up my rhythm. And my beats, which are all mine, and a lot of people would love to have them, but it's tough, you either have them or you don't,
The American businessman is somebody who talks about golf all morning long in the office, then for the rest of the day discusses business on the golf course.
Every man's dream is to be able to sink into the arms of a woman without also falling into her hands.
The Doc told me I had a dual personality. Then he lays an 82 dollar bill on me, so I give him 41 bucks and say, 'Get the other 41 bucks from the other guy.'
A woman doing comedy doesn't offend me, but sets me back a bit. I, as a viewer, have trouble with it. I think of her as a producing machine that brings babies in the world.
He said, 'Listen, can you wait an hour before you blow your head off' I said, 'Yes.'
It's a ... miracle, that's what it is.
We're leaving the House to people who either were born with a silver spoon in their mouth ... or couldn't get better jobs in the first place.
For reasons unknown to us, he started firing indiscriminately -- first at two individuals who happened to be in the bathroom and then at all students and staff who passed by the outside of that bathroom door.
It will take nothing less than a domestic Marshall Plan to rebuild our roads and utilities and homes and businesses.
When I was onstage doing the work, adrenaline killed the pain because I never hurt in front of an audience.
There's an awful lot of people who are wondering why there weren't military police at every corner in New Orleans,
We intend to support our troops as long as they have to serve in this region and are faced with this challenge, (it) is very, very important and Milosevic is watching the members today.
My door is always open to any member who wishes to build consensus on reducing unnecessary spending. My preference is to consider any proposal in a thoughtful, deliberate manner rather than reading about it in the newspaper.
I've had great success being a total idiot.
I mean I was in pain for 37 years... everyday of my life
For the work I've done, I've been accused of being so selfless, but I have to correct that I'm probably the most selfish man you'll ever meet in life, because no one gets the satisfaction or joy that I get in seeing kids realize there is hope.
The information we have is that the suspect was firing randomly at anybody going by, any student going by,
I am probably the most selfish man you will ever meet in your life. No one gets the satisfaction or the joy that I get out of seeing kids realize there is hope.
When I sit back and think a little more rationally, I realize my life is half, so I must learn to do things halfway. I just have to learn to try to be good at being a half a person ... and get on with my life.
Wouldn't that be nice if they did Although, when you have a charity that's dealing with life and death today ... something that's really imminent, it's tough to tell other people what to do.
He's a fine, great man, a wonderful family man. His supporters treated me incredibly well and I appreciate him. He helped me change my life for the better and become a better judge.
We want to make sure the security of our ports is in America's hands.
He lived his way, and it didn't in any way encumber anyone around him, ... I never envied it, because I looked at it. It was studied carelessness, and he did a hell of a job of getting those in the mix to either stay away or embrace him when he needed it.
I couldn't fathom little babies without water or food all that time. I find it impossible for my mind to accept men crying and fighting for their lives in front of everyone. Please search your hearts and know that what you do now is for human beings to stay alive.
It's really is a miracle.
The danger for children today, honey, is the news. Keep them away from news on television and you're going to have very, very fine, natural children.
I get paid for what most kids get punished for.
That's a relationship we need to formalize, ... We would be absolutely foolish not to examine carefully the lessons learned, and there's an awful lot that we'll learn.
Our public is very concerned about a foreign country, in this case specifically a foreign country from the Middle East, having a major role in our ports.
If I've learned anything in the more than 50 years that I've led MDA, it's that the generosity of the American people knows no bounds. I'm sure that with their fellow citizens in such dire need, they'll dig deep and do everything they can to help. I'm hopeful that many people will be willing to make two phone calls and donate to both causes.
I had a box of Kleenex and I'm bawling like a child and I'm not believing it, ... If I had the slightest chance of helping them a little, how do you not ... These people are in trouble now.
I'm overjoyed we were able to help the victims of Hurricane Katrina and at the same time continue our 40-year tradition of helping my kids,
I got up, and bang I was skipping all over the master bedroom.
People hate me because I am a multifaceted, talented, wealthy, internationally famous genius.
very close, particularly because the inclusiveness theme very much fits this mix of suburban California.
The leader and the speaker gave their word to our members. We cant ask for any more than that from our speaker.
I wrote the first page the day my partner died, ... I had to get some stuff down. I was really trying to handle the grief.
If a chick turned me down years ago, I said, There's another few outside, don't worry about it.' I can't take no when I know children and victims are standing around waiting for someone to help them.
I don't know of a member of the House who has more support from this conference than Tom DeLay has. Members are very solidly behind him and they view this as a temporary thing that is highly political and partisan.
Pity You don't want to be pitied because you're a cripple in a wheelchair Stay in your house
I love you all, I love France, I have always for 60 years and I always will.
And he's right on the money every time. And I'm hysterical laughing at this kid
More Jerry Lewis Quotations (Based on Topics)
People - Life - Charity - Work & Career - Hope - Pain - Time - Miracles - Business & Commerce - Woman - Law & Regulation - Silver - Hell - Genius - Place - Countries - Money & Wealth - Man - Learning - View All Jerry Lewis Quotations
- - - - - - - - - - - - - -