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George Carlin Quotes on Death & Dying (4 Quotes)


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  • Death is caused by swallowing small amounts of saliva over a long period of time.
    (George Carlin)

  • At a formal dinner party, the person nearest death should always be seated closest to the bathroom.
    (George Carlin)

  • I'm completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. My idea is that these two institutions screw us up enough on their own, so both of them together is certain death.
    (George Carlin)

  • The most unfair thing about life is the way it ends. I mean, life is tough. It takes up a lot of your time. What do you get at the end of it A Death What's that, a bonus I think the life cycle is all backwards. You should die first, get it out of the way. Then you live in an old age home. You get kicked out when you're too young, you get a gold watch, you go to work. You work forty years until you're young enough to enjoy your retirement. You do drugs, alcohol, you party, you get ready for high school. You go to grade school, you become a kid, you play, you have no responsibilities, you become a little baby, you go back into the womb, you spend your last nine months floating...... and you finish off as an orgasm.
    (George Carlin)


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