Fran Lebowitz Quotes (79 Quotes)


    Children are rarely in the position to lend one a truly interesting sum of money. There are, however, exceptions, and such children are an excellent addition to any party.

    If you can stay in love for more than two years, you're on something

    Special-interest publications should realize that if they are attracting enough advertising and readers to make a profit, the interest is not so special.

    I place a high moral value on the way people behave. I find it repellent to have a lot, and to behave with anything other than courtesy in the old sense of the word - politeness of the heart, a gentleness of the spirit.

    Even when freshly washed and relieved of all obvious confections, children tend to be sticky.


    Stand firm in your refusal to remain conscious during algebra. In real life, I assure you, there is no such thing as algebra.

    Los Angeles is a large city-like area surrounding the Beverly Hills Hotel


    The best fame is a writer's fame. It's enough to get a table at a good restaurant, but not enough to get you interrupted when you eat.

    All God's children are not beautiful. Most of God's children are, in fact, barely presentable.


    The conversational overachiever is someone whose grasp exceeds his reach. This is possible but not attractive.

    To put it rather bluntly, I am not the type who wants to go back to the land; I am the type who wants to go back to the hotel.


    Spilling your guts is just exactly as charming as it sounds.

    Your life story would not make a good book. Don't even try.

    As a teenager you are at the last stage in your life when you will be happy to hear that the phone is for you.

    Romantic love is mental illness. But it's a pleasurable one. It's a drug. It distorts reality, and that's the point of it. It would be impossible to fall in love with someone that you really saw.

    When you leave New York, you are astonished at how clean the rest of the world is. Clean is not enough.

    Original thought is like original sin: both happened before you were born to people you could not have possibly met.


    Great people talk about ideas, average people talk about things, and small people talk about wine.

    The opposite of talking isn't listening. The opposite of talking is waiting.


    Girls who put out are tramps. Girls who don't are ladies. This is, however, a rather archaic usage of the word. Should one of you boys happen upon a girl who doesn't put out, do not jump to the conclusion that you have found a lady. What you have probably found is a lesbian.

    Notoriously insensitive to subtle shifts in moods, children will persist in discussing the color of a recently sighted cement mixer long after one's interest in the topic has waned

    If you are truly serious abut preparing your child for the future, don't teach him to subtract teach him to deduct.

    I've done the calculation and your chances of winning the lottery are identical whether you play or not.

    Humility is no substitute for a good personality.


    Related Authors


    Tom Wolfe - Thomas Friedman - Randolph Churchill - Peter Jennings - Maria Shriver - Kin Hubbard - John Oxenham - Joe Klein - Bob Woodward - B. C. Forbes


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