Eoin Colfer Quotes (24 Quotes)

Butler was seeing the world as it was, complete with L.E.P retrival team

Stay back, human. You don't know what you're dealing with.

Certainly, Doctor. Let's talk about your chair. Victorian?

The problem is that I know the textbook answers to any question you care to ask.

Confidence is ignorance. If you're feeling cocky, it's because there's something you don't know.

Don't worry chief,"said foaly,"It's like riding a unicorn,you never forget.

Hit that back-stabber where it hurts, right in the ambition.

I am unarmed. But Butler here, my ...ah...butler, has a Sig Saucer in his shoulder holster, two shrike-throwing knives in his boots, aderringer two-shot up his sleeve, garrotte wire in his watch, and three stun greanades concealed in variouse pockets. Anything else, Butler?

I don't suppose you would consider peaceful surrender?

If I win, I'm a prodigy. If I lose then I'm mad. That's the way history is written

If I win, I'm a prodigy. If I lose, then I'm crazy. That's the way history is written.

If Koboi defeats and presumably murders us both then you can consider the debt null and void.

I'm right there with you, darlin'. Unless you step on a landmine, in which case I'm way back in the Operations Room.

It's like learning to ride a unicorn. You never forget.

Knock yourself out... Or rather, don't.

A genius. A criminal mastermind. A millionaire. And he is only twelve years old.

Let us proceed under the assumption that the fairy folk do exist, and that I am not a gibbering moron.

But even though there were plenty of teeth in the grin, there was no heart.

Let's save some time here. I grow weary of your clumsy bluffs. In the case of an abduction, the LEP will send a crack Retrieval team to get back what has been lost.. You have done so. Excuse me while I titter. Crack team? Honestly. A Cub-Scout patrol armed with water pistols could have defeated them.

Butler could kill you a hundred different ways without use of his armoury. Though I'm sure one would be quite sufficient.

Shut up, Julius! I mean, quiet a moment, Commander.

I can invent my own creatures and give them their own powers. It was great fun.

Right now, on tour, Colfer is missing his wife and two kids but says it would be churlish not to appreciate the wonderful opportunities the Artemis Fowl books have presented him. At this point, he thinks he'll write two more books in the series and then he'll put Artemis to rest. I'll be a bit sad when it happens. I've spent a lot of time in his company, but I have lots of other things I'd like to do. ... People are very supportive and it's not just a class thing - everybody, the common man can be creative and it's OK, you can be young and say, 'I'm writing a play', and people will say, 'Good on you'. Some other countries, they wouldn't take you seriously.

When it comes to writing, Colfer admits to being a bit of a perfectionist. Over time, he's learned to relax a little but initially, no one read his manuscripts until he was completely satisfied with the result. These days he shows Jackie the final draft.