Dylan Moran Quotes (37 Quotes)

One thing that's coming up a lot is: are you as grumpy as you appear from this Black Books thing.

I can't swim. I can't drive, either. I was going to learn to drive but then I thought, well, what if I crash into a lake

We are both drawn to surreal situations so the writing was a joy.

Its not easy being a man you know. I had to get dressed today and there are other pressures.

I think that women just have a primeval instinct to make soup, which they will try to foist on anybody who looks like a likely candidate.

I'm actually about as famous as a fourth division footballer from the 70s.

I also think it helps that Black Books has a fusty and careworn feel - it could be the 1950's, it could be the 1930s.

Black Books adheres to a more old fashioned, traditional sitcom format, which I think works, because in its own way, it's quite theatrical.

I thought The Office was good, though I didn't think of it as a sitcom, just as a very good programme.

The trend now is to get away from stage bound sitcoms.

The characters can't be wittier than people are in real life. They have to be character witty.

I don't walk around knocking on doors and going to auditions and things generally. All the work I did was self-created.

In the same way, there is some creature gnawing away inside of me, urging me to do things in different ways.

I have a very low level of recognition, which is fine by me.

Yeah, I think Michael has had to deal with that label of being Michael Caine for a long time.

I don't really think of myself as an actor.

Showing off seemed to me to be a highly valuable and necessary activity when I was 20.

I never thought I want to do anything, really, except not go to work properly and turn up at the same place every day and eat sandwiches in the same canteen, if I can possibly help it, as I don't think I'd be very good at it.

He could dismiss several schools of philosophy by shifting slightly in his chair or toting his whisky glass.

The truth is that I'm constitutionally incapable of doing an ordinary job.

Money can't buy you love, but it can get you some really good chocolate ginger biscuits.

But when you do a film, you have to be prepared to learn a whole different menu.

There was a time when I thought if I see Victoria Beckham's face any more I'm going t forget my 11 times tables because my brain is going to dislodge old information to accommodate the new.

Over the years The Stand have been great about giving me stage time if I need to run new material. The audience is always a great mix of attentive and loud and lively you get that good listening quality that any good comedy club should have.

People walk past me in the street and look at me, but because they think I work in their office and they can't remember my name.

I never look at the internet.

You achieve the surreal jokes through the realism by making it elastic.

The careers teacher told me I had a clear choice if I didn't end up going to university I'd end up robbing post offices.

I myself have been to book auctions.

I think a lot of the time you just parody yourself.

If I hadn't done this I might have ended up digging the roads.

I don't want to do the same thing over and over again.

I never thought, I want to do films.

You try various things when you're growing up. I was an attache in the Foreign Service for a while and then I drove a bulldozer, but neither of those panned out for me so it had to be stand-up.

It's true that I have spoken about doing a book before, but then everyone you speak to is planning to write a book.

Dont clap Im not a jazz band for Christs sake.

I have no qualifications to do anything else and there weren't any formal application forms you had to fill in for stand-up, so I thought I'd give that a twist.