Doug Larson Quotes (43 Quotes)


    An alibi is a reason with a bad reputation.

    If the English language made any sense, lackadaisical would have something to do with a shortage of flowers.

    Spring is when you feel like whistling even with a shoe full of slush.

    Instead of giving a politician the keys to the city, it might be better to change the locks.

    The world is full of people looking for spectacular happiness while they snub contentment.


    More marriages might survive if the partners realized that sometimes the better comes after the worse.

    The cat could very well be man's best friend but would never stoop to admitting it.

    If all the cars in the United States were placed end to end, it would probably be Labor Day Weekend.

    A lot of people mistake a short memory for a clear conscience.

    Nostalgia is a file that removes the rough edges from the good old days.

    Establishing goals is all right if you don't let them deprive you of interesting detours.

    Few things are more satisfying than seeing your children have teenagers of their own.

    Utility is when you have one telephone, luxury is when you have two, opulence is when you have three - and paradise is when you have none.

    If someone had asked me after the eruption what it would have looked like after 25 years, I would never have guessed it would have been like this.

    To err is human; to admit it, superhuman.

    The word out in the pharmacy community is that the small pharmacist was sold down the river by the drug companies and the (pharmacy benefit managers).

    The only nice thing about being imperfect is the joy it brings to others.

    If people concentrated on the really important things in life, there'd be a shortage of fishing poles.

    This whole trip was organized in a very short time -- only three days. But we have a number of folks joining us from around the state ... This seems to be a problem everywhere.

    Heredity is a splendid phenomenon that relieves us of responsibility for our shortcomings.

    A pun is the lowest form of humor, unless you thought of it yourself.

    A true friend is one who overlooks your failures and tolerates your success!

    Life expectancy would grow by leaps and bounds if green vegetables smelled as good as bacon.

    A child is a person who can't understand why someone would give away a perfectly good kitten.

    One nice thing about telling a clean joke is there's a good chance no one's heard it before.

    There must be a happy medium somewhere between being totally informed and blissfully unaware.

    Sometimes opportunity knocks, but most of the time it sneaks up and then quietly steals away.

    Real elation is when you feel you could touch a star without standing on tiptoe.

    A lifetime isn't nearly long enough to figure out what it's all about.

    Wisdom is the quality that keeps you from getting into situations where you need it.

    Some of the world's greatest feats were accomplished by people not smart enough to know they were impossible.

    For disappearing acts, it's hard to beat what happens to the eight hours supposedly left after eight of sleep and eight of work.

    Wisdom is the reward you get for a lifetime of listening when you'd have preferred to talk.

    The reason people blame things on previous generations is that there's only one other choice.

    If the English language made any sense, a catastrophe would be an apostrophe with fur

    A weed is a plant that has mastered every survival skill except for learning how to grow in rows.

    It took only 50 years for movies to go from silent to unspeakable.

    The trouble with learning from experience is that you never graduate.

    Arriving 15 minutes early does nothing but guarantee a 30-minute wait

    The surprising thing about young fools is how many survive to become old fools.

    The aging process has you firmly in its grasp if you never get the urge to throw a snowball.

    Home computers are being called upon to perform many new functions, including the consumption of homework formerly eaten by the dog.

    Accomplishing the impossible means only that the boss will add it to your regular duties.


    More Doug Larson Quotations (Based on Topics)


    English - People - Jokes & Humor - Wisdom & Knowledge - Joy & Excitement - Duty - Life - Sense & Perception - Flowers - Quality - World - Weekends - Dogs - Listening - Telephones - Communities - Cats - Goals - Sleep - View All Doug Larson Quotations

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