OBSOLETE, adj. No longer used by the timid. Said chiefly of words. A word which some lexicographer has marked obsolete is ever thereafter an object of dread and loathing to the fool writer ...
OBSOLETE, adj. No longer used by the timid. Said chiefly of words. A word which some lexicographer has marked obsolete is ever thereafter an object of dread and loathing to the fool writer ...
POKER, n. A game said to be played with cards for some purpose to this lexicographer unknown.
MAGIC, n. An art of converting superstition into coin. There are other arts serving the same high purpose, but the discreet lexicographer does not name them.
RICHES, n.A gift from Heaven signifying, This is my beloved son, in whom I am well pleased. --John D. RockefellerThe reward of toil and virtue. --J.P. MorganThe sayings of many in the hands of one. --Eugene DebsTo these excellent definitions the inspired lexicographer feels that he can add nothing of value.
Lexicographer A writer of dictionaries, a harmless drudge.
KISS, n. A word invented by the poets as a rhyme for 'bliss.' It is supposed to signify, in a general way, some kind of rite or ceremony appertaining to a good understanding but the manner of its performance is unknown to this lexicographer.
But these were the dreams of a poet doomed at last to wake a lexicographer.
Every other author may aspire to praise the lexicographer can only hope to escape reproach, and even this negative recompense has been yet granted to very few.
PATRIOTISM, n. Combustible rubbish read to the torch of any one ambitious to illuminate his name. In Dr. Johnson's famous dictionary patriotism is defined as the last resort of a scoundrel. With all due respect to an enlightened but inferior lexicographer
'Lexicographer, n.' A writer of dictionaries, a harmless drudge.
LEXICOGRAPHER, n. A pestilent fellow who, under the pretense of recording some particular stage in the development of a language, does what he can to arrest its growth, stiffen its flexibility and mechanize its methods.
ABNORMAL, adj. Not conforming to standard. In matters of thought and conduct, to be independent is to be abnormal, to be abnormal is to be detested. Wherefore the lexicographer adviseth a striving toward the straiter sic resemblance of the Average Man.
© 2020 Inspirational Stories
© 2020 Inspirational Stories