I got up one morning, couldn't find my socks, so I called Information. She said, 'Hello, Information.' I said, 'I can't find my socks.' She said, 'They're behind the couch.' And they were.
More Quotes from Steven Wright:
For every action, there is an equal and opposite criticism.Steven Wright
Today, I dialed a wrong number. The other side said, 'Hello' and I said, 'Hello, could I speak to Joey' They said, 'Uh, I don't think so ... He's only two months old.' I said, 'I'll wait '
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I busted a mirror and got seven years bad luck, but my lawyer thinks he can get me five.
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I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.
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Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
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One time a cop pulled me over for running a stop sign. He said, 'Didn't you see the stop sign' I said, 'Yeah, but I don't believe everything I read'
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