Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks.
More Quotes from Steven Wright:
I had amnesia once or twice.Steven Wright
How come Superman could stop bullets with his chest, but always ducked when someone threw a gun at him.
Steven Wright
I play the harmonica. The only way I can play is if I get my car going really fast, and stick it out the window.
Steven Wright
I'm moving to Mars next week, so if you have any boxes ...
Steven Wright
Since Americans throw rice at weddings, do Asians throw hamburgers.
Steven Wright
I Xeroxed a mirror. Now I have an extra Xerox machine.
Steven Wright
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I conclude, therefore, that this star is not some kind of comet or a fiery meteor... but that it is a star shining in the firmament itself one that has never previously been seen before our time, in any age since the beginning of the world.Tycho Brahe
Being fit will keep you mentally sharp and people forget that.
Peter Shilton
Death is softer by far than tyranny.
Aeschylus