Lemme just talk to you for a second about something that I think is good for America caramel apples, ... I had one last night. Delicious. Not talking about candy apples. I think candy apples are a danger You crack 'em, they're very sharp. You candy apple crowd need to wake up
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I used to write things for friends. There was this girl I had a crush on, and she had a teacher she didn't like at school. I had a real crush on her, so almost every day I would write her a little short story where she would kill him in a different way.
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People are constantly saying, 'How's it feel to have such an impact' I just want to be funny. I'm a comedian, not a political thinker. We're changing the world one factual error at a time.
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an attractive vessel through which the river of truth can flow.
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Jon always said 'The Daily Show' has no political impact, ... We're going to go ahead and pick up that gauntlet and change the world.
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I want to thank Comedy Central for picking up the show, but more importantly I want to congratulate Comedy Central for picking up the show,
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Based on Topics: Danger & Risk Quotes, Night QuotesBased on Keywords: caramel, lemme
He had a theory, Walt did, that the religious life, and all the agony that goes with it, is just something God sics on people who have the gall to accuse Him of having created an ugly world.
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I first pitched the idea of doing a series of cartoons based on Bible stories. They didn't much like it.
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I have no doubt I was someone very interesting in a past life.
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