I like cinnamon rolls, but I don't always have time to make a pan. That's why I wish they would sell cinnamon roll incense. After all I'd rather light a stick and have my roommate wake up with false hopes.
More Quotes from Mitch Hedberg:
Say, I was on The Craig Kilbourne Show and the next day I flew to Minneapolis. I was at the airport and a guy came up. He said, 'Dude, I saw you on TV last night.' But he did not say whether or not he thought I was good, he just confirmed that I was on television. So I turned my head away from him for about a minute, then I turned it back. I said, 'Dude, I saw you at the airport about a minute ago. And you were good.'Mitch Hedberg
Dogs are forever in the push up postion.
Mitch Hedberg
I think Pringles' initial intention was to make tennis balls. But on the day that the rubber was supposed to show up, a big truckload of potatoes arrived. But Pringles was a laid-back company. They said Fk it. Cut 'em up.
Mitch Hedberg
I think foosball is a combination of soccer and shish kabobs.
Mitch Hedberg
I went to the store to bye a candle holder. They didn't have one so I got a cake.
Mitch Hedberg
This shirt is dry clean only. Which means... it's dirty.
Mitch Hedberg
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Based on Keywords: cinnamonI love to be in the position of not knowing what I'm gonna do, but having rehearsed all of those so when something happens with the others actors I go with whatever that is I'm getting.
Wayne Rogers
I mean, the part you don't like, I mean, that's the only part. That's the part no one likes, and that is the criticisms, and the unfair criticisms, I might add, of my husband. But that's also just a fact of life in politics.
Laura Bush
Television is a medium of entertainment which permits millions of people to listen to the same joke at the same time, and yet remain lonesome.
T. S. Eliot